My Whispered Plead

Chap8-Hand in hand, Shoulder to shoulder

After I said that I trusted Chase, he smiled at me and took me home, tucking me into bed and saying goodnight before walking out.

I needed to man up and suck it up, stop being a princess. That's what I did, I hid my emotions and just drew a blank,calm and collected face. My brother gave me a weird look when I stepped into the kitchen, I gave him a false smile that could be taking for a real one.

I guess I am getting good at lying now but I just wonder how longer this façade will last. The door opened and Chase walked in, I gave him an eyebrow.

"Your uncle said I can come in whenever I want"

"There's a time curfew" Jared said walking in.

I nodded and got up grabbing my bag, I was kind of shutting myself off and being quiet too, I don't know why, it's probably because I am the worse at lying.

I checked the time to see it was time to go,

"You coming?" I asked Chase,

The three of them gave each other the same look before Chase nodded and walked with outside.

"You okay?" He asked,

"I'm fine"

I hopped into the passenger side and closed the door, silence spread between us and it was getting awkward. We got to school and the humans started talking about how the schools used-to-be player was now settling down with me, the nobody.

I kept my eyes on the ground as we walked through the hall and to homeroom, I sat down in a chair and Chase sat next to me, he jumped into a conversation with his beta and I just stared out the window.

I thought of a quote my mum once said when she told me to be strong,

If you can make it through the rain, you can stand up once again

How was I going to stand up if I was still going through the rain, was I really going through the rain still or was I finished with it. Defiantly still going through the rain.

I got up with a sign as the bell went, my façade was falling, not like I care anymore. My depression was coming back and this time I wonder how I would get out of it. Probably with the help of Chase but would I let him help me or push him away? I want him but how can I have someone when I don't know if they are going to stay or disappear? I had to trust him but how do I learn to trust someone with a life of flaws?

I shook my thoughts out of my head,

"Hey! Alex wait up!" Chase shouted, he changed his timetable to mine since I liked my classes. He walked up next to me and grabbed my hand giving me a smile, I returned it with much of a smile I can muster, Chases smile turned into a frown and he pulled me in the opposite direction of class and outside.

He dragged me out the doors and turned towards me,

"What's wrong Alex and don't tell me nothing"

I bit my lip and looked at the ground, he grabbed my chin and made me look at him, I locked onto his eyes and I knew he could see all my sadness,

"Do you not trust me anymore? Is that it?"

I shook my head,

"Then what is it?" He said a bit harshly

"I trust you but....I don't trust myself"

"Huh?"

"I'm still walking through the rain after all theses years, I can't get out of it no matter what. I have so many flaws and my walls are cracking, I'm crumbling under the weight of the world and I don't know what I will do next. I just wonder how you could like me Chase."