Faithfully yours

Chapter Nine

"Get your hands off me" Porsche aggressively pushed Kim's hand that rested on his shoulder, his eyes narrowing on him in frustration.

The two were in the elevator, both claiming one side of the spare space, refusing to get an inch closer. The mutual silence got them busy with their thoughts, exploring the sudden change in younger's behaviour to be alarming. They knew they weren't overreacting for Chay was someone that wore his heart around his sleeves, an open book written on a meadow of sunflowers, someone that didn't hold anything back, someone who had the entire Thai mafia at their feet.

"Kim..." Porsche spoke, breaking the silence the two had found comfort in.

"Hmm"

"Is Chay all right?" The depth of that question seemed too deep, though very simple. The two men in the elevator were the ones who loved the younger the most, they believed they knew the younger the most, though this particular question seemed to question that moral of belief. The small voice that Porsche spoke in, sounded more like a statement, like he's trying to convince himself Chay was good, he's fine, he's still the little ball of sunshine that he had protected from this cruel world, from his cruel world.

Kim stayed silent, mind not being able to connect any dots, any clues, any signs that he had missed along the way. He was as clueless as Porsche.

Chay had never been a puzzle to Kim, in fact, Chay was the only thing that made sense to him, the only thing that felt grounded in his line of work, in his life. Kim did find arbitrary moments where Chay felt off and distanced, a moments where there was a flicker in his eyes, a moment of stillness, a moment before Chay's bright smile re-set Kim's thoughts, assuring Kim that Chay was fine. Those confusing moments that lingered finally made sense, in the sense that it didn't feel as if Kim had been prying into something that didn't exist, Kim's gut feeling was right, Chay was not at all okay. He still could not pinpoint what it is that bothered him, what it is that hurt Chay. He felt stupid, was his love just a delusion? How did he not notice that Chay was suffering? His breathing has unknowingly formed a knot around his throat, feeling an uncomfortable pain jolt through him with each breath. It wasn't painful, it felt soothing, reminding him back to childhood, a knot that forms when you hold in your cries, but this time, there were no tears, just a crushing weight of guilt draped around his neck.

"Has Chay said anything to you?" The elevator door opened, taking the two into the dining floor.

"No and that's my concern. I know I've told you this already, ever since that day, Chay has been off with me, I don't know what it is because everything feels the same but it's... it's so different" the two made their way through the lines of bodyguards and into the main foyer. A large table sat to the corner of the room, platters of food neatly placed for the diners. Porsche spoke with his entire body, his hands traveling to the back of his head, then to his sides, to his face and then vigorously moving in front of him. Kim didn't need to look at Porsche, his voice gave it away, Porsche was scared.

The older brother did inform Kim a while back, when they first took Chay with them to the main manor, that it seemed to be more than something to do with university. Chay was still academically excelling and his scholarship was still present; he hadn't gotten any bad results for him to lose his scholarship.

Though Chay was quiet for the first few days in the manor, he quickly adapted to his environment and was back to being himself, the ball of smiles everyone adored. The overthinking, over analyzing Kim did not think much into it at first. At Porsche's continuous verbal harassments on the change of Chay, Kim did his own digging. Kim had thought Porsche was just jealous at first, as Chay was spending more time with him but the continuous pestering had Kim worried, but the lack of information or a starting point, had him stopping before even properly starting. Chay only had one close friend he hung out with, a friend that had Kim second guessing Chay's choices.