My One And Only Reason. (Ruikasa)

"rolling girl"

Im gonna cry i made this thing so emo. #SENDTSUKASATOTHERAPYRN
Btw this chapter is kinda long
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Tsukasa's pov:

the pajama party was going on and we were watching a movie, at some point emu nene and rui come to the living room, and ask if they can talk to me. I was a little skeptical at first but ignored that and went with them.
"Tsukasa-kun"
"Yes?"
"What is happening to you?"
"What do you mean rui?"
"I meant what I said. in the last days you are mean and silent, usually you are always the opposite what is happening to you"
"..."
"Yeah tsukasa-kun! Rui is right"
"Agree"

Flashback

it was my 13 birthday, and that morning I ended up in the hospital, my father had come to visit me and as usual, he couldn't spend a day without making me feel useless.

I was looking at the sky from the window in my room when my father opened the door.
"Uhm? Dad?"
"Happy birthay son."
"Thank you"
"...so, how did your last math exam go?"
"About that..."
"Yeah"
"I got an A- "
"WHAT are you kidding me!"
"Yeah! I can't beliv-"
"you have disappointed me a lot. You are useless! But where do you want to end up continuing like this? Why God why! I just wanted a decent son! YOU ARE USELESS SON OF BIT-" and with this he continue to verbally abuse me for about 20 minutes, when he was stopped by my mother who, entering the room, saw me curled up in my bed sobbing.
"OH MY GOD!ARE YOU SERIOUS? LEAVE OUR SON ALONE! I HAVE HEARD EVERYTHING, BUT DO YOU THINK IT'S NORMAL TO TALK TO HIM LIKE THIS FOR AN A-? YOU DISAPPOINTED ME A LOT. HE'S YOUR SON, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF HIM NO MATTER WHAT"
"NO HE DESERVES IT"
my mother and father continued to argue for almost an hour, meanwhile I was so shocked and sad that my eyes were cold and dull. I no longer reacted, I felt nothing, the only thing I could perceive was the thought of killing myse-

End of flashback

this is what i can remember from the last few weeks. Every time I think, all these memories come back to me... Sad. In fact, I have no happy memories of my childhood.
"Helloo?"
I could not do it anymore. I had done that for too long. I fell and started crying like crazy. It felt like my life depended on it.
Emu, rui and nene ran up to me and hugged me in an attempt to make me stop crying
"what happend?"
"it's just...my life has no real meaning."
"What do you mean! Your life has a meaning!"
"Then what is it"
"You need to make people smile, you remember?"
"Yeah! Rui kun is right! When we first met you mentioned that your whole life depended on it!"
"it no longer makes sense. I have no talent. I could end up in the hospital at any moment, it's no longer a surprise. Being stuck in a hospital for having a body so weak that little by little even the air could hurt you. What does it mean? In the end under these conditions how can I make people smile if  i can't even make myself smile?"
"Tsukasa..."
"I do everything wrong! How can I become a star if I can't even do simple things? My father was right! Every time I ended up crying on my knees  because of him, I deserved it. He was right, I'm useless, everyone is better than me I don't deserve to be in the wor-"
I was interrupted by the door opening.
nene ran in front of the door. It was Akito
"Guys cone downnnn we're about to have a mid-night snack "
"why should you?"
"an asked and was breaking up, so we agreed, come on down"
and with that he closed the door and went down.
"Tsukasa, your father will never be right for mentally and verbally abusing you. You deserve better, you are perfect just the way you are and you are very talented, you just have to get it out there "
"Yeah! Tsukasa-kun, you are the reason why we are here, our success, in short, of us!"
"I agree with emu and rui"
"Well, Tsukasa now dry these tears and let's go!"
I must admit that I have found some spectacular friends, but I also have to be thankful that they have not looked me in the eye. I went in front of the mirror in my room and as I dried my tears I saw my cold, lifeless eyes. No matter how I tried, they didn't go back to normal.
"Fufu?Everthing okay?"
"Uhh yeah rui im fine"
I just had to try not to let anyone see my eyes.

Emu's pov:
we finally found out what's bothering tsukasa in the past few days. I'm thankful he finally spoke to us, but I'm seriously worried about him, we all are. Especially rui. He confessed to us that he likes Tsukasa, so I'm not surprised how worried he is about him, but in the end we all are. We went down to the living room and tsukasa had his head down, even if you spoke to him or approached him, he didn't raise his face.
We arrived in the living room and we were all offered candies, sweets and various snacks. Tsukasa was the only one who didn't eat. I saw rui very worried. He was biting his nails. He had never done that. At one point, mafuyu asks tsukasa a question.
"tsukasa, why don't you eat? And lift up your head! I don't understand why you are so down in the du-"
when tsukasa raised his head tsutti were so shocked that a loud gasp filled the room. Tsukasa's eyes were empty. They were so dark that they could gradually turn black. It looked like he just killed someone
"Oh my god! Tsukasa!"
kanade yelled.
rui was so shocked that he was on the verge of screaming. He stood up and ran to hug Tsukasa. Saki sat and was staring into space, trying not to cry. Although rui hugged him tsumasa didn't have any reaction, he didn't move and didn't react. At that point we were all in a panic. We all stood up and walked over to tsukasa and rui. Rui was crying by now, saki too, but tsukasa didn't react.
toya ran to call miss ruby who was in her room doing her night routine.

Tsukasa's pov

I felt nothing. I didn't see anything. I didn't perceive anything. It was like I was floating. At some point I started to see something. I was in a room with my baby. In the hospital. I was looking out the window, specifically watching children play. At one point a figure approaches me.
"Hi tsukasa kun!"
it was miku. But was it…strange? She had long dark blue hair, dull eyes and a black dress. She wasn't my sekai's miku.
"Miku?"
"Tsukasa, please come to your senses!"
She took my hands.
"the sekai is candying to pieces! Like your feelings please! Save the sekai! And save yourself please."
while she was talking to me, other images from my childhood were being projected. My father yelling at me, little me scratching himself because he made a mistake in his homework, that cold, traumatic hospital room again. All cold and sad memories.

at some point, i came back to reality, i started to absee and feel again, i had my mother, rui,saki, emu, nene, toya, and mafuyu in front, or at least they were the people i could see, but they were all around to me
"OH MY GOD! TSUKASA! DO YOU HEAR US?"
"Huh?"
"FINALLY"
"What happend?"
"You were all weird! Your eyes are dark and lifeless, you didn't respond to them and you didn't seem to be breathing!"
"Oh...sorry"
"..."
"Why."
"Huh?"
"Why would you"
"Rui kun? what's worng?"
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1343 words😨 I'm scared! However in this chapter tsukasa can also end up in a mental hospital