𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨 || 𝙟𝙤𝙖𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭

𝘁 𝘄 𝗲 𝗻 𝘁 𝘆 𝗳 𝗼 𝘂 𝗿

I MISSED HIM
"i found you without looking, and love you without trying"

~joão~

last week after lyla left i went to talk to my coach, and he explained to me how i would be moving to chelsea on a loan. i was shocked.

i couldn't believe i was seriously going to play in the premier league. this had been one of my biggest dreams since a kid and to say the least i was ecstatic. i went to almost every different bakery in town to buy a cookie just because i was in such a good mood.

playing in the premier league was seriously a dream, and even though i have everything i could ever want right now, this opportunity would be fantastic.

but then i remembered all the people i would leave behind. micah, all my teammates and friends, but it would only be for six months, i would be back before anyone knew i was gone.

but once i realized lyla was in london, my ecstatic behavior turned cold. i didn't want to go anywhere she was. when she left me in that bathroom a couple weeks ago, not only was i sad, but i was angry.

how could she leave all of our problems here unfinished. i never sent those texts and i know she believes me, but it was hard for me to watch her walk away, leaving me a crying mess, after everything we went through together with her dad and nate.

i thought she would at least shoot me a text or ask if we could talk again, but no, she left like everything that happened that night didn't.

i really thought there was something there between us. i told her how i felt, and she still walked out. that means she obviously doesn't feel the same way, so i guess i was wrong about that.

i don't know why i started breaking out in tears that night, it's still unexplainable to myself, but whatever that feeling was, it is gone now.

i'm not gonna let lylas childish behavior get in the way of this fabulous opportunity and step forward in my career.

so the reason i chose number 11, is a mystery. i played in the world cup as 11, but that played no part in the reason i chose that number.

there was only one reason for why i chose to be 11 for the next 6 months, and even though i'll never admit it to anyone, it just so happens to be because of the short, brunette who left me sobbing in a public restroom last week.

i can tell myself i'm angry at her, and i am, but i still care for her. and even if she doesn't have the same feelings for me as i do her, she is constantly running through my mind.

at first i didn't want her to leave, then she walked out and left and i was happy, but now moving to london where she is, she probably thinks i'm desperate. maybe i am? who knows.

an annoying buzzing sound shook me out of my thoughts and i took out my earbuds, placing them on the console in front of my seat.

i started to pack my things into my bag, considering someone on the intercom announced we would be landing shortly. the plane bounced up and down from the turbulence and i rolled my window up gently, taking in the beauty of london below me.

i still can't believe this is actually happening. once the plane landed i met up with a guy who called himself oliver and he said he worked in the chelsea department. whatever that means.

he drove me to my new house to get the stuff i had with me settled. the rest of my furniture is supposed to be here the day after tomorrow.

he then drove me to stamford bridge to meet my new teammates and coaches. but who i ended up running into, was definitely not who i expected.