𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨 || 𝙟𝙤𝙖𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭

𝗳 𝗼 𝘂 𝗿 𝘁 𝘆 𝘀 𝗶 𝘅

OLD TIMES
"your my nemo. if you get lost in the great big ocean i'll find you"

~lyla~

being in love with another human is such an odd but marvelous phenomenon. it's something you can't even explain until you've really experienced it first hand.

it's like all of a sudden something so important infiltrates your body, talking over your mind and actions. out of the blue, someone appears, making every heart wrenching mistake in your life seem just a little bit easier to get over.

the best type of love comes when you least except it. it's an addiction. a certain person who has invaded your brain, filling every mere centimeter with reminders of their smile and laugh and eyes and everything about them that makes your stomach do cartwheels.

and suddenly everything in your life has flipped around. you feel the need to do everything in your power for that person, to constantly try to make them smile, no matter how much of a toll it takes on you.

the type of love where you aren't afraid to put yourself at risk or in danger as long as they always have that heartwarming smile etched on their face. everything you do is for that person, even if they don't realize it.

it's joão.

joão is my wonderwall.

wonderwall: someone you find yourself thinking about all the time; a person who you are completely infatuated with.

joão is constantly on my mind, whether i'm driving, at the store, in bed, it doesn't matter. wherever i am, joão is there with me in my mind too.

i never thought i would feel this way about anyone, but when i met joão in my kitchen on one fateful afternoon and saw his face light up at a joke nick made, i knew i was done for.

i never had any type of feeling like this towards nate. i said i was in love with him, and i really thought i was, but everything is different between him and joão.

i can see a future with joão, everything i have pictured in my future, joão has been there. i haven't admitted that to anyone, not even him, because to be honest it's scary.

it's scary to be so deeply in love with someone, especially when that person already betrayed your trust once. how am i supposed to just forget that?

"hey, you okay?" joão asks, his voice at a whisper. i stare up to look at him in the darkness, the light from the tv illuminating his face making him look angelic. i fight the urge to grab him and just kiss him right here.

"yeah." i nod slightly. "why?" i look back down at my hands, which joão carefully grasps in his own.

"your picking at your nails, you do that when your nervous." he looks back down at me, his deep eyes pouring into me.

"i'm okay." i bite back a smile and joão squeezes my knee reassuringly. he kisses the top of my head and my stomach starts doing flips. i bury my head into his warm neck to try and hide the blush appearing on my cheeks, good thing it's dark in here.

the doorbell rings and all the boys jump up to get it. joão stands up slowly and extends his hands out to me with i graciously accept. we follow the group to the front door, hand in hand.

it's the groups second to last night here, and we decided to just stay in and watch some movies. i invited mase over because i knew harper would want him here, and so far they have really hit it off.

it makes me kind of nervous though because once harper goes back home, i don't know what this situation between them will turn into. just a summer fling and they will forget about each other and move on in their lives, or maybe the attraction will be too much and she'll come out here more often.