"𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞„

thirteen, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖺𝗋𝗇

"Cmon, you can do it, you can make it, it's just down here," Jane says, as Ellie drifts in and out of consciousness.

Jane smashed in the barn door with her foot, supporting ellie with her arms. It creaked open, the wood screaming as it moved.

Jane wasted no time, getting Ellie in and laying her down on a stack of hay. She passed out, and sure - Jane should be worried, but she wasn't at all. She was relieved, because what she had to do next wasn't pleasant.

Hoisting up Ellie's trouser leg, she unclipped the clasp on her sheath, taking out her knife. Cutting into Ellie's wounded skin, she carefully pushed a finger into the bullet hole.

Jane winced at the feeling of the flesh surrounding her fingernail, but ultimately pushed through.
Blood spouted from the source, covering Jane's hands. She shrugged it off - she wasn't scared of a little blood.

Grasping at something hard in Ellie's leg, she pulled it out, not taking any chances. A bullet appeared in her bloodied hand, and she smiled.

Throwing it to the other side of the room, she got to work on the next one. Using exactly the same method, she was able to pierce through the skin and retrieve the bullet. She was terrified, because she was no doctor. What if This ultimately kills her? She had to try. She had to do it.

Unzipping and rummaging through her bag, her hand caught on the bandages she had found earlier.
Frantically unwrapping them and applying them to Ellie's leg, she sighed in relief.

Raising her bloodied hands to push back her hair, she was finally free to relax.
But she didn't.

Because now she had time to think about what really happened, and how it was all her fault.
The fight realistically only lasted for around three minutes. But in her head, it went on, and on, each shot sounding out so slow that she could count the seconds in between fire and contact. With each blow came a painful, excruciating sound that seemed to last forever and multiply immediately, bouncing off the walls of her skull.

Explosions, guns, baseball bats. Everything was so mixed together, yet detailed in her brain. Maybe this fight would go on for months, if not years, in her head.
And this time, she knew, that everyone in Oceanside was either hurt or dead. She didn't waste anytime wanting to go back, like the prison.

And it was then, that she decided, she was going to stop dwelling on everyone. On the prison, on the group, on Carl. Because she had to accept that it was just her and Ellie now, and it always will be. They had clearly moved on from her, because if they wanted to look, they would've found her in an instant.

Ellie had been right, all along. And once again, her perfect, safe life, had crumbled to pieces right in-front of her.

This time, with so much warning.

Leaving Ellie alone with just a kiss on the forehead, she travelled ten minutes down to the river that once ran through Oceanside.

Slowly peeling off her layers, she got in, with nothing but her knife at her side. She began to wash the blood from her skin, but didn't bother to clean out her ears - the blood didn't stop coming from them, and plus, it just hurt every time she even touched them.

The area where her tattoo was placed was peeling and dry, flaking off into the water and drifting away down the path of the stream.

She traced the lines of the carls hat, wincing whilst doing so. She just wanted him here, to tell her it was okay. To embrace her like he used to.

She wanted her mother, though still mad at her abandonment. She wanted Michonne. She wanted Daryl, to call her kid and poke fun at her with his heavy accent.

And that was when she started to cry.
It wasn't loud, it wasn't dramatic. Tears fell from eyes but no sound seemed to come out, and she just sat, in a pool of blood, dirt and tears.

Grabbing her clothes from the side of the river, she got out, not risking another vulnerable minute. Wiping away her tears, she knew going forward that she had to be the strong one. She had to protect Ellie like Ellie protected her.

★

After being out on a run, raiding a few houses not far from here, she returned back to Ellie. She was awake now, and Jane took this as an opportunity to stitch her wounds up. She'd found a house with a sewing drawer, and thought it would help stop the bleeding. She was right.

"You shouldn't keep going out there alone..." Ellie whispered, unable to really get out a proper sentence.

"What, and let you die? You know I'm more than capable of fighting. Thanks to the bow you made me and taught me how to use last year, I got us some food."

"What?" She said, a crack apparent in her voice.

"One squirrel and two rabbits. They're already skinned and on the fire. I was just checking in on you. And stitching you up, which you might not have noticed."

Ellie mustered a nod, fighting to keep her eyes open.

Jane cooked up the meat, practically forcing it down Ellie's throat.
It wasn't long till they both fell asleep, Jane's head resting on Ellie's shoulder.

a few hours later, at the crack of dawn, Jane woke with a start. She had had a dream about Carl, about finally finding him again. In the dream, she had found a neighbourhood, completely untouched by any walker. Everything was white, marble, or grey wood - and each house was in pristine condition. Carl was just waiting there, with open arms. He didn't look older, like he should. Jane ran to him, but before she could reach him, she was awake, and panting.

"I don't know, Enid. his dad killed my dad. He's a killer, just like him."

Jane's heart jumped, and she clutched her gun, along with Ellie's hand.
"He's not just some killer. He knows what the world is like and you don't, Ron. You've been cooped up inside your own little world like nothing else is going on ever, and I'm tired of it."
It was a girl and a boy. Their voices were muffled, coming from a few meters outside the barn. Jane sat, still clutching her gun as their voices faded out.

It was going to be a long night.

★