"Remember the first time you kissed me? It was on the cheek, outside of Hershel's quarantine zone. I remember feeling conflicted, because, I couldn't enjoy it. You were about to step into danger, and could've died. That's the first time I felt it, a...
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EVERY TIME JANE PELETIER closed her eyes, she could only see him. His smashed up face was perfectly preserved in her head, like a photo, framed - sitting symmetrical on the wall of her brain. Along side the flashes of his death, were good memories too. Good memories that made it all hurt so much more.
She was extremely tired, famished, and thirsty, but she didn't feel like taking care of herself tonight. She was sure she'd cried out all her tears, because no matter how heartbreaking it was, she couldn't cry. She was stuck in this endless, horrid loop of the event, and she felt as if she could still feel the earth beneath her knees.
Negan's words echoed throughout her head. Ones from before, and after. How did she not know? How did she not think to warn them?
Everything, all of it - was her fault. She couldn't stop dwelling on it. First, she picked a fight with them. Then, she hurt him and didn't finish the job. Lastly, she had gone out looking for her mother and pulled everyone along with her.
Glenn. Michonne. Rosita. They all went looking for her. And she felt especially guilty about Daryl.
And now, Daryl, Glenn and Abraham were gone.
When the group got back, she was immediately rushed to the infirmary along with a few others. Apparently, she had been knocked out the whole way home, and Carl and Rick had to carry her to the RV. She resided in the infirmary painfully for the day, before being sent home to the grimes house. They gave her some heavy painkillers and a bunch of other shit, and warned her to not speak for a few days to let the bruises on her throat heal. She had also been awarded some stitches on her forehead, due to the knife cut.
When she got home, she locked herself in her room and avoided speaking to anyone. She hadn't seen Carl since blacking out in his arms, but she was told by the new nurse that he'd been to visit when she was out - along with a couple of others. Ellie included.
She sat upright all night, not able to succumb to sleep. She wondered how she'd ever get it out of her head. The rain pattered on outside, and it calmed her a little. The sound of rain was so beautiful, and so soft.
The hunger was a lot, and the thirst pulled at her throat like Dwight had earlier. She massaged the skin pierced with different purples and blues, feeling slight pain under her fingertips.
She had no idea what time it was, but found it was dark enough for a venture down to the kitchen unnoticed. She tiptoed downstairs barefooted, carefully trying not to wake anyone. Halfway down, an image came to her, first of Glenn. Then Abraham. Then Daryl, locked up in a cage somewhere. She had to grab the banister as to stop from falling, and sacrificed some of her stealth in the action.
The moment passed, and taking a deep breath, she got down safely. She poured herself a glass of water, drinking it gratefully in one go.
