"𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞„

forty five, she way out

THE GRIMES HOUSE FELT so voided and empty. It had been empty before, plenty of times, but this was different. This was like stepping back into a party where the DJ was just shot. This was dark. The grey countertops and white doors seemed to have dulled since she was last here, and when they  arrive, she finds that Judith is already fast asleep in bed. As she walks past the girl's room to go to the bathroom, she's met with a sense of longing for the night before this one. The shared kiss in the hallway, encouraging words from Mich and Rick, the brawl for her keys outside. Of course it had felt too good, too right. Too normal.

She steadily gets herself back downstairs, waiting for Enid to come and clean her cuts. She'd come with them all, on the drive home for this reason only. Jane had let her have her old room, the one that her and Ellie used to stay in. She didn't like going back their either: it reminded her of simple times too, of when Ellie and her still lived here together, before everything seemed to happen all at once.

Bringing some alcohol and cotton pads, Enid dabs them right onto her wounds as they sit down side by side on the couch. Jane winces, especially when it comes to her throat. Her broken nose would have to be looked at by Siddiq, when he had the time and in the meantime she'd wear a large plaster over it.

A few times, Jane's eyes flutter closed, as she's so tired that the pain doesn't even wake her. Fatigue plagues her body as she sits there, though she's not supposed to fall asleep.

She thinks about a lot of things in this time, two of those things being Rick Grimes and Carl Grimes. She was so worried about him. Losing a dad like Rick would change him forever, losing a second parent. And on top of that, he was Rick Grimes, too. She missed him terribly already, his smile, his scolding, the hair ruffles he gave her from time to time.
Carl sat across the room, his arms tied over his knees as he just stares at the floor. He looked so sad he was almost angry.

She watches closely as he reaches into his pocket, playing around with something she can't see. She wonders exactly what it might have been, a trinket of his fathers?
Her hearing's still a little impaired, but with the few hours home the pain had definitely slowed, and if someone was really really close, she could hear them okay.

Silence is all anyone hears as the three of them just sit together, not daring to say anything.
Michonne is upstairs, in her room, and for that Jane feels bad. She probably won't leave till late morning, and probably won't let anyone in either.

Carl makes eye contact with her then, and he looks so different. His eye still twists to pity as he watches her wince at Enid's touch, yet still, there's something changed about him. It's in his pupil, buried deep - something only she might notice.

"You're all cleaned up, wound wise," Enid says with a light smile. Jane nods, putting a comforting hand to her shoulder before getting up to slowly make her way to the bathroom, to shower. Her hair is still caked with blood, dirt and everything else, and her body is a whole other thing.

As she slowly steps up each stair making sure she doesn't fall from lightheadedness, she feels hands hover lightly to her waist. She flinches away even though she knows it's him, something she's never done before.

"Hey, it's okay," Carl whispers, taken aback by her sudden movement. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who had changed.

She makes it to the bathroom, suddenly aware of her body and Carl's presence. Reaching a hand towards the doorknob, she expects Carl to move past her, to lock himself in his room like Michonne had. Instead, he stands and watches as she swings it open, eventually following her in.

"You don't have to." She states, her voice so soft it's almost unreadable.

"But I will. You need help, I need to make sure you don't pass out or something."