"𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞„

thirty five, the next few steps

dear Ellie and Enid,
I'm sure you've heard about everything by now. Whatever it is, whatever you know, is probably true. I should've written earlier, I know that, but I've gotten to it and that's that. I just hope you are all doing okay, and I want you to stay safe. I know I can't control you, I wouldn't dare try - but I just couldn't bear it if any of you got hurt or even killed because of my stupid mistakes (or even just in general). I know I don't see you often, but I care. I really really care, and if you hate me that's fine too. I just want you all to be okay.

Anyways, my mom came back. You might've heard that too. She apologised for everything, and I forgave her. I'm done with being angry. We have been doing okay these past weeks, and I'm fine with that.

Carl is being a little distant, but I know he's just worried about everything. Judith is cute as ever.
Say hi to Maggie, Tonya and max for me. Thanks.
I'll be over to visit soon.
~ Jane

𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐖𝐎 weeks since the attack, yet not a single mind had forgotten. Jane hadn't found a way to work past any of it yet, or even try to start to. Carl was in the same boat: neither really knew how to feel.
There was one truth they both knew, one that looked them in the eyes with no sign of a blink.

It was the fact that she had done it for him, that really stood out. For one, she had saved him. She could never regret what she did, because he was still alive. On the other hand, she'd committed an irreversible act that split them in two. Not forever, maybe. The crack hadn't spread even halfway, but that was only the beginning.

That didn't stop their love, though. Nothing really could. Her vines had already grown on him years ago: rooting him to the spot forevermore. Though he didn't know it yet, he understood why she did it, because he would've done the same for her. Granted, he's not as strong or as smart as she is, but he'd try at-least.

Carol Peletier had found her place at the kingdom, but stayed in Alexandria for a few weeks to accompany her daughter. The two felt so much closer than they ever had, which was nice on both terms. Carol's apology hadn't been big or spectacular, but it didn't have to be, because Jane just wanted her back more than anything. Her 'sorry' was believable enough.

"You're too abrupt. You need to play them to get what you want." Carol said, peering past the wood of her bow and into the forest ahead. She was set on one squirrel, that was just sitting in a tree.

"But how do I do that? How do I know?" Jane asked, watching her mother release the arrow, sending it flying right through the squirrel's head.

"Did anyone ever tell you what happened when we all arrived here?" She asked, brushing her hands through countless thorns to retrieve the meat laying ahead.

"Carl told me a little bit."

"We got here, and I knew I had to be smart. I played them like chess pieces. They all thought I was this sweet old lady who made cookies, when really, I was the complete opposite. That way, if things were to go down - and they did - I'd be on top of everyone else. When Maggie and I were held hostage, I played her again. She's like a character, if you will."

"So what do you do? Put on a smile?" Jane asked again. This was followed up by Carol's hearty laugh, that seemed to sneak past her mouth like it wasn't supposed to come out.

"Scared. You just act scared."

"Yee harr!!" Carl said, raising the toilet roll tube high in the air - making Judith burst into fits of giggles. Pirates seemed to be one of her new favourite games, and, Carl played quite the part considering his missing eye.