What I Really Am

Chapter 14 // part two

A/N: Alright well just sayin... again... if you wanna beta this fic, please message me asap! I would really like a beta because this is where it gets a little bit complex compared to the beginning. The action huhuehue. Anyways, let's get this show on the road!!

PS, this is extra late bc I had a SWS concert the 21st and then, well... MCR the 22nd, FOB with the Phoenix, Gerard's tweeting, and the various other band things. And I had actual stuff to do this week woah that's new, and writer's block to the max. Well anyways, here you have it. Thanks to Kennidy for picking the number to decide something. Try and guess what... C;<

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Brendon's POV (I totally typed Brednon the first time on accident. Woops.)

When I come to, Ryan and I are lying next to each other, and Ryan's mother is a few feet away from us.

"Well, I think we're all ready then. Stand, Ms.Ross," Gabe says with his arrogant-sounding tone. She does as told and I sit up. Ryan's still out, but stirring. I lean down and brush my lips over his ear and whisper.

"Ryan, get up. Please."

His eyes flutter open and he sits up, sighing.

"I was hoping this was just a dream." Well, it isn't. It's very real. I hear Ryan's mother standing and I we simultaneously trun our heads toward her. Ryan's hand finds mine, seeking comfort. His fingers lace with mine, trembling slightly. Gabe adjusts his lime green Ray Bans, the lenses glinting in the harsh, flourescent light thrumming through the bulbs in... wherever we are. She looks over at us and smiles, something that doesn't quite reach her eyes. I feel Ryan tense up, squeezing my hand until his knuckles are ghostly white, contrasting the dried blood covering the rest of his hand.

"Alright, now for the transfer." He shudders and I try to comfort him my running my thumb over his knuckles. Gabe approaches Ryan's mother and extends a hand out to her.

"Let me see your hand, Ms.Ross," he says, and when she reaches her hand out, he encircles the wrist with long, bony fingers. Ryan stirs next to me and I squeeze his hand, letting him know he better not fucking get up. Gabe moves her jacket sleeve out the way and pushes down on her vein.

Her eyes flicker pain and I can tell she's trying to stay strong for Ryan. A dark swirl starts fading onto her skin, like black blood pooling in a bruise. It clouds her pale porcelain skin and starts to drift down her palm, through her fingertips. The ribbons of black swirl out her hand and curl into tendrils, like smoke, in Gabe's hand. He smirks and Ryan's mom starts to quiver.

"Almost done with you, Ms.Ross," he says as she collapses to her knees. I flinch away from the scene. Ryan can't seem to take it any more.

"Mom!" Ryan yells and scrambles to get up. He pries his hand from mine and quickly tries to make his way over to her. Before he realizes it, my arm wraps around his delicate,bony waist and I'm pulling him down to the ground. Gabe watches him struggle against my arms bemusedly, all the while Ms.Ross's wrist is still swirling, black tendrils of smoke-like material (if you could call it that) curling in the air, up to Gabe's palm. An orb of it is steadily growing in his hand.

Ryan looks up at me with tears in his eyes, and fuck, we've all been crying too much these past couple weeks. He's pleading to just let him go but I can't. It's what his mother wants for him and I made a promise to keep him safe and not let him try to stop this.

The orb stops growing but continues to swirl in Gabe's large, tanned hand. Ryan's mother is reduced to a heap on the ground, shivering and crying and silent.

"Thank you for your time Mrs.Ross, I'll be seeing you soon enough. Now for you, Ryan." I slowly, hesitantly relinquish my grip on his arms and he runs towards his mother.

Gabe grabs him by the collar of the shirt and turns him to where he can see his chest. Gabe smirks. Ryan squirms in pain under his grasp and fights to turn around to see his mother. When he finally does, I'm by her side without realizing it and she's whispering to me.

"I know about you. I'm not mad, Brendon. I could tell. I never made Ryan that happy, that was the happiest I've seen him, when he was with you. Take care of him for me, please. He's lost too much, and he's losing more. I don't know you well now, Brendon, but I know I'm going to look down on you and Ryan and see you at the altar, see you with children. I know you're what's right for him. Take care of my little boy." I'm balling my hands into fists and squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to not cry. 

"Y-yes ma'am. I love your son, okay? And we both love you... Thank you." I reply shakily and her eyelids get heavier and start to slip.

"Humans and their useless emotions," Gabe comments.

He lets go of Ryan's shirt and Ryan falls to his knees.

He crawls in front of her and his whole body shudders as he chokes a strangled, scared 'Mom?' out. He sounds like a little child and I stare helplessly as he cries over her fragile, drained frame. Her chest's shallow breathing has stopped and he fumbles for a pulse but knows there's not one to find.

"What the fuck did you do?" Ryan screams at Gabe, tears running down his face, holding his mother's cold, lifeless hand in his own, sobbing hysterically.

"She was going to die in a year or so already, so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. Plus, you get an extra year on your life. It all works out, plain and simple." Gabe shrugs.

This makes Ryan break. He goes to lash out at Gabe but I grab his arm and he falls flat back onto his bony ass. He looks at me, a teary-eyed mess, and I can see nothing but sadness in his once-glittering honey eyes. They've glazed over.

I pull him into my arms and he keeps crying, progressively quieting down. My shirt is soaked in salty tears but I can't bring myself to tell him to stop, not right now. Not ever. I'm his shoulder to cry on.

Literally and figuratively.

Gabe looks at me and I stare him down before asking, "Why-- What now?"

"Well, my work here is done," he announces to the practically empty room. Suddenly, I'm feeling really dizzy and as everything starts to bleed into the blackness, I see the faint outline of Gabe hovering over me. 

"Have fun fixing that hot mess up." He says directed at Ryan, who's out cold. 

Pretty soon, I'm out too, and Gabe's footsteps seem miles away.

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When I wake up, Ryan and I are on our bed in the cabin, the window still broken and shards of glass covering the floor. Hot, humid air is making my jeans chafe and stick to my skin, and sweat bead on my forehead. I lay there for a moment and look around for Kellin. He's sitting in the corner on an old chair, on his phone.

"Good, you're awake. Now go to sleep. Goodness knows you guys'll need it. Especially Ryan, the poor guy." I guess he figured out what happened when he saw that Mrs.Ross didn't make it back with us.

"The book said about extreme weakness after." I nod and stroke Ryan's matted, feathery brown hair and wipe a stray tear off his cheek with the pad of my thumb. He mutters something incomprehensible in his restless sleep, muttering and jerking into subconsciousness and drifting out of it. I pull him close, our legs overlapping and lace our fingers together between our chests. I kiss his lips softly and pull away, trying to fight to sleep again. I can't.

I could only imagine how fragile Ryan is going to be.

I can only imagine how hard he's going to be to fix.

If he can recover from this at all.

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A/N: well kennidy looks like you chose to have Ryan's mom killed. Uh she was gonna die either way, but I mean hey who cares. I made it really kinda melodramatic and I teared up writing it okay. Don't judge me.

And last but not least, this chapter goes out to the songs Can You Feel My Heart? by BMTH and Professional Griefers by deadmau5 and Gerard Way bc I had them on loop with the Decaydance lullaby whilest writing the majority of this.