Chapter 2
MC's POV
I've been out of hospital for a week now Jessy and the others haven't left my side, I still feel broken. They all keep doing their best to cheer me up but nothing is working. I've been staying at Jessy's. She practically insisted that I come stay with her. I still sneak a bottle of vodka when I can. The others don't know anything about it and that's the way I want it to stay. Jessy is out picking something up for dinner so I've gone into my room and dug out the bottle of vodka. It took me some time to convince her to not phone Dan to come babysit me. I am a grown arse woman and I can look after myself. I don't need someone babysitting me. I take one last swig of the bottle before I hide it under my bed where Jessy can't find it. Just as I get up off the floor I hear Jessy coming back home shouting my name.
I put on my best smile and open up the door. I find Jessy in the kitchen putting the shopping away. Why does she always have to be so cheerful? I don't know how much longer I can keep up this fake happiness. "Hey Jessy get anything good from the shop?" "Hey, someone looks happy, I picked us up something special for dinner oh and I've stocked up on your favorite ice cream" my heart is breaking inside and here's Jessy with a smile on her face thinking I am happy. "I invited the others to dinner. They are looking forward to seeing you" wtf!! Why did you do that Jessy I mentally cursed her for inviting the others. "That's awesome, can't wait, I'm going to go take a bath." "okay take as long as you need" i walked away from Jessy and into the bathroom to start running the water.
While Jessy is busy in the kitchen I go back into my room and fish out the bottle of vodka I hid. I open the bottle and drink some of the vodka. I feel it burning my throat but I don't stop. I just keep drinking. I finish the bottle and throw it under the bed, stumbling about a little. I manage to focus enough on the running water in the bathroom. When I'm happy with the temperature of the water I slide myself in closing my eyes letting the water take over my body. I closed my eyes and went to sleep. My thoughts are of only one person Jake.
MC's dream:
"Oh Jake you are so cute I love the flowers thank you" MC looks at Jake with a big smile on her face then kisses him on the cheek "you are welcome my love I know how much you love flowers" Jake wraps his arms around MC holding her tight. "I made your favorite for dinner Chinese" Jake stopped to smell the amazing smells coming from the kitchen, his face lit up. "I love it when you cook for us I love you MC" "I love you to Jake I always will" they share a kiss before sitting down to eat dinner. They both sit down to eat after dinner Jake takes MC by the hand spinning her around. She can't help but smile. Jake makes her feel so happy like she can take on the world. When MC spins back around she reaches her hand out trying to stop Jake from leaving. "Please MC save me, don't let me go, I love you" "Jake!! It's okay I got you please don't let go of my hand" the grip starts to break and Jake slips away.
MC is awoken from her dream by Jessy banging on the bathroom door, "MC? Are you okay?" Damn you Jessy how dare you break me from my dreams I mentally curse Jessy for what she's done. "Yes I'm fine, be out in a minute" I quickly wiped the tears from my face and got out of the bath. Why did she have to wake me from my sleep? She took me away from Jake. I need to be with him so much I miss him I don't know how to stop my heart from hurting. Everyone expects me to act like I am doing fine but I can't. I just can't do life without Jake anymore. Before I can reach for the bathroom cabinet Jessy knocks on the damn door again. "MC the others are here now come and join us" Jessy had concern in her voice "I said I'll be out in a minute" I snapped at Jessy she just won't leave me alone.
I quickly grabbed any bottle of pills from the cabinet, hiding them in my pocket. I leave the bathroom and go into my room. I take out another hidden bottle of vodka, taking the cap off and throwing it across the room. I can feel the tears running down my face and the pain in my heart. I take a swig of the bottle as I start to empty some of the pills into my hand. A voice came from the door and startled me, dropping the whole pills on the floor. "MC!! What the hell are you doing" I look up and see Dan charging across the room and trying to take the bottle out of my hand. "Just leave me alone, I can't do this anymore" Dan manages to take the bottle out of my hand and I just completely break down. I let all the emotions that have been building up out. Dan doesn't say anything, he just wraps his arms around me and holds me.
After a while I manage to calm down Dan still has his arms around me "hey boo, it's okay I'm not going to let anything happen to you" "I'm s-so s-sorry D-Dan I never meant for any of this to happen" I bury my face into Dan's chest as more tears fall from my eyes. I must've fallen asleep when I woke up. I was under the covers and Dan sat by my side. "Morning boo, how are you feeling?" "What time is it?" "It's 11:30 am you slept all night" I sat up in bed and leaned against my pillows. "I'm feeling a little better, where are the others? Have you been here all night?" "They are all at work, Jessy will be back later and yes I've been here all night" "is Jessy mad at me for what happened" "no she's not mad at you she's more mad at herself you know what Jessy is like''
I pull myself out of bed and Dan helps me into the living room, he goes to make me some coffee while I switch on the TV for background noise. Not really paying any attention to what's happening my thoughts drift back to the love of my life. If he knew what I was doing he would be so pissed off at me right now. But I just can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be in his arms. I need him to be with me. Dan snaps me out of my thoughts and hands me my coffee "thanks Dan, I really am sorry for last night i never…" "It's okay boo, I get how hard it must be for you I'm always here for you" I looked up at Dan and saw he meant every word, for the first time in years I actually smiled.
San spent the day with me until Jessy got back from work, when she got back she rushed over to me and gave me a big hug not letting me go. "I'm so sorry MC, I let you down when you needed me the most" tears threatened to roll down Jessy's face "I'm sorry Jessy I should have let you in I just didn't see any other way out" we both shared another big hug. I guess I have to try and rebuild my life somehow. I don't know how I am going to don't but I need to try. I will always, always be in love with Jake, nothing will ever change that. I have to try and more on and maybe even try and date again but that is not an option now.
The next couple of months I worked hard at trying to rebuild my life, Jessy and the others helped me so much. I agreed to meet with a physiatrist to help me with everything. My first apartment was this afternoon. I was so nervous. I kept trying to think of a reason not to go but I couldn't think of anything. Dan was picking me up and took me to my appointment. The reception was very plain with a few pictures on the walls and the chairs were put all around the room. They didn't offer much decoration for the room. Dan came in and waited with me. The physiatrist opened her door and invited me into her office "you got this boo I will be here waiting for you" I looked at Dan and smiled then walked towards the office.
The physiatrist had me talking about things in my life from when I was little, then the subject of Jake came up. Everything in my body wanted to completely shut down and not talk about Jake. How I wished I could kiss his soft lips, wrap my arms around him and never let him go. As soon as I spoke Jake's name I broke down for a second time. I let everything out, all the emotions that I have been holding on to came out. After I finished I made another appointment for next week when I came out of the office Dan was sitting reading a car magazine. "Hey Dan, I'm done now" he looked up from his magazine and smiled at me. "Okay boo, let's get you back home" Dan put the magazine down and walked me out of the building.
