Those eyes || Rafe Cameron

/12/

Rafe was angry with himself. He knows Tanny sees right trough him, but she's too kind to spit it out. He knows Barry had hurt her, and he never forgives himself for letting that happen. But he can't stop his feelings sometimes. He is so overwhelmed by the emotions going trough his body that he wants to hide them, using drugs from Barry. He paid him in time, getting in a fight with Barry again because of what he wanted to do with Tanny. He wanted to apologize to her yesterday, but when he saw that she was sitting so close to JJ when he arrived at the chateau, he lost it. He can't stop himself in situations like that, he don't know what to do to stop himself and before he know it, he does something he regrets. Hurting the people he cares about. Tanny had known him for so long, she knows how to handle his behavior. But still when he is in a rage, he can't controle himself and he is scared he might hurt Tanny. At the moment he was struggling with himself, being angry and sad. And as he always does, he uses drugs. 

''Get your mind off for a little while and have fun!'' Sarah said to me after we had bumped into each other at a party. I was with Kiara, Pope, JJ and John B. Resulting in a distance between my two friend groups. Sarah kissed my cheek before hugging me goodbye, leaving with Topper to have fun on their own at the same party. 

I know the two groups couldn't handle hanging out with each other, and i know that if i hang out with Sarah right now i might see Rafe. 

''Great, can we now go get some drinks?'' John B asked no one specific. We walked over to the beer keg. The party was a little bit more on the cut, but there where stille some kooks walking around. Also some tourists, not knowing how to act at a party like this. Some where headed inside the house, some staying in the backyard. 

With the group we walked to the dock of the property. We sat in a row with our legs hanging over the edge, watching the sun set. I looked at Kiara who was talking to JJ, i hope he goes trough with making her his girlfriend. He talks about that a lot when she isn't around. 

''How was work today?'' Pope asked me. I looked to my other side. ''Yeah it was fine, mostly tourists you know'' ik sipped at my drink. ''Did you do grocery's for your dad?'' Behind Pope i saw John B looking around him, it looked like he was searching someone. 

''Yes i did, luckily only on the cut and some nice kooks. I even got some extra tip from an old lady because we accidentally gave her two boxes of cookies'' he laughed. ''Nice man'' i winked to John B, hinting to Pope to look behind him. John B was still looking for someone. 

''Found your Juliet yet, Romeo?'' I didn't know what Pope ment by that. John B spins to us with a scared face. ''What?'' he asked fast, a little mean. ''Wow JB, just kidding...'' Pope said before turning back to me. He rolled with his eyes. ''Why is he acting like that?'' i whispered to Pope so John B couldn't hear me. 

''I don't know if i can say that to you'' he eyed me with guilt. ''Why not?'' i shrug with my shoulders. ''Eeh'' Pope trailed while holding up is hands. ''John B want it to be a secret'' - ''Hmm'' i said before i frown my eyebrows. ''I hope you don't cut me off'' i laugh being a little scared they would. Pope's hand stroked over my back. ''No no, we could never Tanny, I could never'' 

Further into the night we had fun drinking and chilling. When it was getting dark we decided to go sit inside to smoke weed. JJ always rolls the best blunts. We shared one with each other while chilling on the couch, i was laying down with by legs over Kie's. The music from outside was dull in the background, in the backyard was the big party where everyone danced. 

''Shall we go dancing Tans?'' Kie asked me, shoving my legs from hers. ''Sure, but i don't think i can after JJ's blunt'' i laughed before being pulled up by Kie. ''Shut it, it doesn't matter'' he says while dragging me outside to dance. When we entered the group of dancing people there was no turning back. Kiara and i danced while holding hands, laughing and having fun. For a moment i forgot about what had happend with Rafe the night before. I was a little intoxicated by the alcohol and drugs, but it felt nice this way. When i looked back at the house, to look if the boys where also coming to dance, i felt my heart stop. 

There he was, standing with a girl close to his body, kissing her... 

I felt Kie pulling on me to go back dancing, but i guess she didn't noticed why i stopped. ''Kie...'' i said but she didn't hear me. ''What the hell!'' she did notice. ''I thought he was with you?'' she yelled over the loud music. She grabbed my arm and stormed off to him. ''No Kie, please...'' she stopped us just outside of the swarm of people. ''Yes we are, he is cheating on you!'' - ''No he's not. We never made it official or something'' but she ignored me. She dragged me further to him. The boys had been outside and had seen what was happening, storming behind us. 

''Hey!'' Kie shouts to Rafe, the girl he was melted on stepped away from him. JJ ran by us, pushing Rafe to the ground. ''What the fuck man! First you come fight me because she was just hanging out with me. And now you are glued to this random girl?!'' JJ shouts. Some people from the party walking over to us, wanting to see the fight that was going to happen. Rafe gets himself together, standing up from the ground and pushing JJ back. 

''Oh no, not a wrestling contest again'' i hear Pope sighing. Him and John B making themselves ready to stop this fight. 

''Don't touch me!'' i hear Rafe say angry. ''Why do you keep doing these confusing things? Tanny cares about you, you asshole!'' Kie shouts to the boy, also pushing him. He laughed, he was insane. ''Come on Kie, pushing me?'' he said ignoring her statement about me caring. I grabbed Kie's arm, holding her close to me. 

''Did you hear what i just said?'' he said to him with a lot of anger in her voice. Rafe stayed quiet. ''Say it Tanny, maybe he listens to you'' she crossed her arms raising an eyebrow at me, i eyed her. Everyone was looking at us and i felt embarrassed. 

''Say what huh?'' he also crossed his arms. The girl he was just kissing was gone. I hope to never see her again. My anger boiled up at the thought of them kissing. ''That i fucking care about you Rafe! Jesus Christ, i thought we had something. But apparently not'' his eyes where glued on mine. Those eyes say so much, but not getting one thing out of it. He didn't respond. I want to go, i wanna go home and cry. Not wanting everyone to see my emotions. 

''You hurt me more than Barry did last week'' i say with tears in my eyes while i walked over to him. I just stared in his eyes before walking away. Kie, JJ, John B and Pope following me. 

''What the actual fuck?'' Pope said when we all where in the twinkie. John B drove away. I sat in the back of the van with my head against the glass, trying to hold my tears. But when Kie hugged me from the side i broke. I wiped the tears from my face, looking outside while hiding my face. 

I hope they don't judge me right now. All these emotions are so new and weird. Especially because it was Rafe. 

''He is an absolute ass'' JJ said. ''We love you no matter what Tanny, but please be careful with him''.