WE were in the bed, his arms around me and none of us spoke. Silence filled the room and both of us were looking out of the window. We didn’t want to speak, to break this silence. He breathed in my hair and kissed my head, I snuggled closer and looked at him. He looked back at me with unbearable sad eyes, I couldn’t take it so I poked him playfully and grinned like a fool. He gave up and smiled back. I pecked his cheek and didn’t stop smiling. He looked at me and sighed.
“When do you have to leave?” he asked after a long moment of silence.
I looked away and fidgeted with my fingers.
“After five days.”
He didn’t say anything but by the silence he gave me I knew whatever was going inside his head was intense and not a happy place.
Thankfully, he didn’t ask about it anymore and shifted into light conversation about school and what we like and didn’t like. Slowly, the tension in the air eased and we were laughing again, but I knew inside we both hurting and wishing things would be alright again.
We were together the whole evening, not leaving each other’s side for even a second. I even slept on his bed and in his arms, I savored every moment with him. The whole time he hasn’t said anything about me leaving yet, whenever I brought it up he would abruptly change the topic and pretend like nothing ever happened. It was starting to worry me I guess it’s his way of showing that he was hurting. I didn’t want to push him into talking with me either, I wanted him to take his time because that’s the least I could do.
I woke up in the middle of the night. I heard Gabriel’s soft and rhythmic breathing next to my ear, I smiled at how it made me felt. I love him so much. I cuddled closer to him which woke him up. he opened his eyes and looked at me. I smiled, he looked at me for sometime then smiled back. he kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to him, burying my head in the crook of his neck.
“I would give anything to make this night last forever.” He whispered.
I smiled.
“Gabriel.”
“Um?”
“Let’s do it.” I said.
His body went rigid and he didn’t respond.
“Gabriel?”
He sighed.
“No, we can’t.” he said groaning loudly.
I popped my head up and looked down at him, confused.
“We’ll do it when you come back, that way we both have something to look forward to.” he said smiling mischievously.
I smiled back but I knew what he was doing, he was trying to make sure I would come back, alive anyway.
“Gabriel, I told you-”
“I know…so now, you have to come back.” he said looking at me with pained eyes.
I stared at him. “What if I don’t?”
He gritted his teeth making his jaws lock.
“You will, you have to.” he said.
I pulled away from him and sat up, I buried my hands in my hands and sighed heavily. This is so hard.
We stayed that way for a long time, none of us moving. Then, I felt a pair of hands wrapping my waist from behind. I turned and saw Gabriel looking back at me. He kissed me, pulling me down to the bed again. I kissed him back with force, startling him a little bit. He looked at me and smiled.
“I love you.” he said.
I looked into his hazel eyes and saw it, the pain. It was killing him inside, I was killing him. I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart countless of times. I tried ending it before but he was absolutely stubborn and refused to let me go but this time I have to stand my ground, even if it hurts him. He’ll get over me and the pain will be gone in time, then he’ll be alright again and he’ll find a new love. He deserves nothing but happiness.
“Gabriel, I love you so much but…” I said trailing off.
He looked at me and frowned.
“I’m letting you go. I’m not changing my mind this time.” I said firmly.
He looked at me, his eyes devoid of any emotion. They just stared right back at me.
“I’m sorry…but this way, it won’t hurt so much when I leave.” I said.
He said nothing, he didn’t even blink.
I got off the bed and put on my shoes on and before I walked out of the door, I bent down and kissed him on the lips. I could feel the tears threatening my eyes, I stood up straight and quickly walked out of the door, refusing to cry in front of him.
The next morning in school I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, during lunch I didn’t sit with Gabriel like I usually did and instead sat with Peach, who was ecstatic. Most of the girls noticed I wasn’t with Gabriel the whole day and rumors quickly circulated saying me and Gabriel broke up. From the smirks I saw on the girls’ faces I knew they happy about it. I felt furious when i saw a girl making a move on Gabriel, he, as always, showed no interest and brushed her off but she wasn’t discouraged and instead blew him a kiss and walked away. Davis looked at me worriedly wondering what was going on but I only smiled in return and tried my best ignoring him, Blake, Nathan and Kerwin too.
I knew we were officially over when I came face to face with him in the last period. I turned around and found him right in front of me, he seemed surprised too, I was about to say something but he quickly looked away and walked past me. I felt my cheeks getting hot and tears stinging my eyes, I deserved it. He has every right to treat me this way. It’s better we ignore each other, it will be less painful later on.
And that way, we became strangers again.
_______________________________________________________________________
ello!
so tell me what you think! and don't forget to vote and comment! muah to all you readers! ^_^
