gold rush ♬ {𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐮𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲}

xii. eternal flame

Yesterday, at school, the twins were paired with Paris, Madeline and Louise for a group project. After ten minutes of arguing, they decided to do the project at the Gilmore's house. Today, Emma decided to wake up earlier and get coffees for everybody. She was walking to Luke's when somebody calls her last name.

"Gilmore." She stops, paralyses on the cobblestones. "How you doing?"

"It's too early for this, Adam." She turned around reluctantly and her eyes came across his black eye. "Cute black eye. It suits you."

"Your boyfriend did it." He pronounced the words in a tone of playful anger.

"What?"

"He didn't tell you about our little encounter in the ice-cream shop yesterday? I didn't want to get him in trouble." Emma was still processing the information, she didn't respond. "You know, I would never lie to you."

She stopped processing.

"Ew. Please. Don't."

Emma wondered why Tristan didn't say anything. Why would he lie? What did Adam do? Probably just exist, at this point.

"Me and the old gang are having a party at my house. You should come." He asked cluelessly, reaching for her with his hand.

"Ugh, as if." She thought to herself: Not this time. She walked to Luke's with a faster pace, hoping that he wouldn't follow her. He didn't. She felt a sense of relief. Once more, she hoped to never see him again.

Emma bought six coffees to go, one was for Lorelai. She chatted with Luke about meaningless but fulfilling stuff as she waited. When she left, somebody bumped into her. The coffees fell on the ground, tainted her sweater and Michelle's jacket.

"I'm so sorry." The blond girl started apologizing (again). "I'll pay for it, sorry."

Emma felt the impulse to say 'It's okay'. The coffee thing was okay, to an extant. The whole other thing wasn't okay at all, there was no extant.

"I accept this apology." She was picking the cups from the ground. Emma's words were bitter, but what would they be instead? Grateful? Sad? Emotionless?

"I'm sick of this. I don't understand why you're being so hard on me. It's been almost a year. Move on."

"You're sick of this?" Emma scoffed of disbelief. "You really don't understand how much you hurt me?"

"No! You never explained! You were never sincere with me!" Michelle stopped as if she was rethinking her words. "I mean, you were once. Once! You told me you were in love with me, what was I suppose to do? You were my best friend!"

Something was tightening Emma's chest.

"Not kissing me would've been a great start!" She shouted into the sky of memories.

I haven't explained a very important thing. At New Year's, before the catastrophe, Emma finally got the courage to confess her feelings to Michelle. It felt like the perfect moment...

They were reapplying their makeup in the bathroom. It was 11:45pm and she pronounced Michelle's name impulsively. Then, she said it. "I'm in love with you." There was a  weird silence. "You are not just a friend to me." She continued, desperately waiting for a response. Michelle pronounced no words. She looked into Emma's eyes with confusion, adrenaline and alcohol in her veins. She looked at Emma's cherry lips. She grabbed Emma's face and kissed her passionately. Emma was in heaven for those 3 minutes, she was actually considering on changing her belief system. It felt so divine.

But then, Michelle pulled back and ran out the door as if she had an epiphany. Emma spent the last 10 minutes of 1999 looking for the girl that had her heart in her hands. Michelle spent the last 10 minutes of 1999 hiding from her sexuality, from her ex-best friend, from shame, from her feelings, until Adam Snivellus found her and she thought it was the perfect opportunity to forget... Sell her body and soul to the devil. It could've been any guy, but he was there, taking her virginity and being the dagger that Michelle unconsciously stabbed into Emma's heart. Not unconsciously. The conscious is always there.