Emily Eve Best & Myself

Leave the hurt behind

Eve just stood there for the longest time, studying me closely, she still didn't remember me, suddenly she let out a sharp gasp, "I remember now, I have no idea why I didn't recognise you?" Eve tells me after removing her hand from her mouth, taking a step closer towards me.

"Why would you recognise me? It was years ago," I asked feeling a little confused as to her reaction, I didn't really know what I had been expecting her reaction to be, whatever I had been expecting, that certainly wasn't it.

"Because I thought about you often, I had always hoped that I could meet you again one day, to tell you how sorry I am, and ask for your forgiveness, though I understand now why you hate me, I can only hope in time you will find it in your heart to forgive me, if you don't I understand," Eve tells me sitting back down on the sofa, "Please understand, I was having a really bad day, I knew it wasn't your fault, I was the one who bumped into you, it was just unfortunate that you were holding a cup of coffee at the time," Eve tells me with tears running down her face.

"You shouted at me, asking me if I was blind, telling me to watch where I was going, after you walked away from me, I got told, they were letting me go for upsetting you, for nearly burning you with my coffee, telling me that no one should upset the star," I tell her sitting down next to her, "I do understand you never asked them to fire me, however I convince myself if you had never shouted at me, I would of never been fired," I tell her, it felt good getting it all out, to finally be able to tell the woman I had hated, no not hated, I never hated her, I had just let myself stay angry at her, could I really forgive her? And to finally let go of all that anger?

"There are no words I could possibly say that will make this right, please know I really wasn't myself that day, I felt guilty, so guilty that I had gone looking for you to apologise for my behaviour, I wasn't fair on you, just because I was having a bad day, I should of never taken it out on you, I hope you will give me the chance to show you the real me," Eve tells me, I don't doubt Eve was being genuine, so I reach for her hand, taking it in mine giving it a gentle squeeze, however before I could say anything, Eve started to speak again, "I tried to get you your job back, told them I was the one that bumped into you not the other way around, they wouldn't listen to me, just told me that the decision was final, not long after that I made the decision to leave the show and return to England," Eve told me, I hadn't been expecting Eve to say that, it really threw me, had she really quit Nurse Jackie because of me? I inhale deeply, what if she was indeed telling me the truth? If so, I no longer want to Eve to feel guilty, I also want us to move forward, I have no idea if we will become friends or not.

"In a way you did me a favour, shortly after getting fired from Nurse Jackie, I landed a role on Criminal minds, I was on the show for six years, even after my departure from the show I came back every now and again, getting fired from nurse Jackie might have been a blessing in disguise, though I might of not wanted to see it until now," looking Eve directly in her eyes, needing to make sure she understands what am about to say next, "I forgive you Eve, we all have bad days where we say or do something we later regret, besides on my first day on set, you were so warm and welcoming, I really liked that version of you, if that Eve is the real you, then that is someone I would very like to get to know, only if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the way I had been acting towards you," I ask Eve, I was just about to lower my gaze, when without warning Eve pulled me into a hug, holding me so tightly, it took me a moment to respond, slowly I wrapped my arms around Eve's waist, it's weird how lighter I feel, am not angry anymore, now that I have let it all out, by finally telling Eve the truth, it's like all that anger I had been holding on too, has just disappeared.

"There is nothing to forgive," Eve says pulling back slightly searching for my eyes, "Let's get back to set," Eve tells me wiping a tear that had run down my cheek, I nod slightly, I stand up first than hold out a hand for Eve to take, Eve gives me a little smile before taking my offered hand, I gently pull her up onto her feet and off the sofa, "Do you want to grab a coffee, on our way back?" Eve than realised what she had just said, however before she could say anything further, I let out a chuckle.

We didn't grab coffee, instead we decide on a cup of tea instead, unfortunately there was still a little tension between the two of us, I guess that is to be expected, though I couldn't help wondering if we would be able to one day, truly put this misunderstanding behind us, I had held onto all that anger for years, I guess only time will tell, I would also need some time.

For the rest of the afternoon, we did the scene over and over, either the lighting wasn't right, or something when wrong with the sound, or someone would get their lines wrong, making the rest of us laugh.

Eve and myself did our scene, on some takes Eve would place her lips near my ear, like in the script, other takes she would place her lips near my lips, by the end of the day, I was completely shattered, plus my feet hurt from all the dancing, I think I might even have some blisters, after getting out of my costume, I hopped into my car, my driver took me back to the hotel, that was going to be my home for the next ten months, if not more.

Before going to my room, I ordered some food at the front desk, along with a bottle of wine, since the hotel restaurants were all closed, thanks covid, only some of the others cast members like Eve, Steve, Mett and Paddy along with some of the extra's were staying at the same hotel.

Once back in my hotel room, I threw up my hair before removing my make-up, I decided to have a shower not a bath, since my food would arrive soon, am in and out of the shower within ten minutes, putting on my night clothes, I lay on the bed turning on the TV, I ended up channel surfing, trying to find something to watch, when there's a knock on my door, it was my food, I finally ended with the news as back ground noise while eating my food, drinking some wine, after eating my food, I called Paget, telling Paget what happened between myself and Eve in my trailer, we just talked about everything and nothing, god I missed her, beyond words, she was making me laugh so hard I was crying, after we finally hangup, I pour myself a second glass of wine, I watched the news while drinking my wine, after yawning I get under the covers and make myself comfortable, letting myself drift off to sleep.

To Be continued