Dark Tendencies: A Female Reader x Dean Winchester Fic

*9*

Y/N's POV

My vivid dreams that night consisted of a full play-by-play of my first sexual encounter with Dean.

Every single part of it... being flashed across my mind in HD as if I were watching a movie, causing me to relive the euphoric physical sensations even as I slept.

It was nothing like I had pictured...nothing like I had ever experienced before. It was apparent what his kinks were, but it was also so much more in-depth than that. There was raw, unfiltered, pent-up emotion that he poured into all of his ruthless actions, and it gripped onto my very being like a vice.

Admittedly, I was frightened at first, given sex like that was uncharted territory for me. But as his needs became more clear with every touch... mine did too.

I knew a little bit about the darkness he inhabited. I knew that his time in Hell had changed who he was in several ways. I didn't really mind that about him, though. How could anyone, even a hunter as well-trained as Dean, go through something like that and not resurface with a warped mentality? It just wasn't possible... and in truth, it made me admire him even more, knowing he kept such a firm grip on himself 99% of the time, just so he could still be the fun, charismatic, lovable man we all knew.

But there was that other side of him...that sadistic side that had an unyielding need to be set free... the part of him that harbored so much rage and angst. He was able to tap into it a bit when he hunted with his brother... but he didn't really have a way to let loose that was entirely his own, and hunting was always hit or miss on whether it was satisfactory, or just downright upsetting.

However, as I realized last night... I could be his muse. I could be the one to help him feed that darkness in a healthy way, just to relieve the tension that forever built itself up inside of him. I was tough enough not to let it break me...and I admired him enough to put myself on the line just for his own benefit.

My goal was always to save as many people from monsters as I could... so why wouldn't I want to save this man I cared for from the metaphorical monsters that ate away at him? And the way I save him...was to help him satisfy his taboo cravings...to help him let the monsters out so they didn't constantly overwhelm him.

But this wasn't just about Dean's benefit. I never knew it would be... but it was also for my own.

My job was in full control of every aspect of my life. It dictated where I traveled, where I slept, how often I ate... at this point, I was basically just a machine with little time for much else. You'd think life would be easier that way... but it wasn't.

I was a woman in my mid-twenties. I also harbored tension...and loneliness...and need...and besides the thrill of the hunt, I lacked so much passion. At times, I desperately wished some outside force would come in and take the reigns from my tired hands, just for a little while... just so I could get lost in something else. Just so I could find purpose in something else.

I didn't realize it until now... but that force just so happened to be Dean Winchester.

He needed me to channel his darkness safely...I needed him to help me escape from the dreary cut and dry life I lived. He needed me to ease his pain...I needed him to ease my longing. He needed me to regain control of himself in his day-to-day life....I needed him to help me lose my control. He needed me to feed his inner sadism....I needed him to feed my inner masochism.

It was such a powerful, symbiotic thing we shared together...all wrapped up in orgasmic bliss.

He never said as much...part of me thought I was reading way too heavily into it. But his touch said otherwise. The craving he expressed as he kissed me...the hunger that seeped from him every time he pushed himself inside me... and the grateful way his tongue glided across my most vulnerable spots.