All along (Du'a's Diary).

Chapter Ten.

   It's been three days since I spoke to Nurain, three whole days! It felt like a month to be honest. He seems really occupied these days or maybe it's just me I don't know. I saw his missed call yesterday but I forgot to call him back, curse my bad memory! School has just been really hectic and time seems to be really short these days.

  My phone rang and I jumped immediately thinking it was nurain, it was Abdul. A quick smile formed on my face, yup, that's what I have turned into a big gooey mess, sigh.

  I really seemed to be smiling unconsciously these day I think Im becoming crazy!

  Just the thought of him brought butterflies to my stomach, okay more like a stampede of dinosaurs but whatever.

  "hello" I picked up and he replied with a salam and we talked for a while, we've been talking a lot lately, like it seems to happen so naturally that we talk about even the silliest things, he's been bugging me about putting a label on what we are, and the scary part is I'm actually considering it!

  My girlfriends are also seriously hyping him up, I think I'm at the brink of giving into putting a name on "us".

  So back to nurain we haven't spoken since the day Abdul came visiting, oh so I haven't giving you guys the details, we went out of school after he kept insisting that he wanted to take me out( I did a little yanga before giving in😉), and we spent the next hours talking while eating icecream in his car (which my friends kept calling and didsturbing😒).

   It was past 5 pm when we eventually made it back to school, and Hanan "the disturbance" kept insisting they had to meet him, I had no choice but to give in hoping they wouldn't embarrass my life.

  They met us at the parking space and they got along really well with him- they behaved, thankfully- and now they're officially Abdul FC😐(crazy people) .

  Honestly Abdul has all the qualities I want in a guy, he's not perfect-because no one is-but I could actually picture us together.

  "what are you thinking? " Maryam asked me settling down next to me on my bed, honestly Maryam was loud and fun but, she was someone that didn't say much when it comes to other people's affairs, so if she asks you anything regarding your private matters she must really care.

"nothing," I sighed "just some stuff".

"Is it Abdul?" she wiggled her brows teasingly and I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"yes" I answered truthfully.

" what about him?" she asked looking a bit serious.

"it's just, I feel like everything's moving a little too fast" I said rubbing my face with both hands.

"and..?" she enquired looking confused.

"that's it, it's moving too fast" I said again facing her, she now had a very amused look on her face and was trying hard to hold back her laugh.

"mene, what's funny?" I asked with a straight face and a huge pour on my lips.

"it's just, I don't see the fastness you're talking about" she said amusedly " besides you seem to like him too, komai na tafiya daidai" she said matter of factly.

"exactly! That's the thing, why is everything so perfect in such a short time?" I whined "it's too good to be true"

Maryam looked at me with a sneer as if I had gone crazy the look that said "look at this dummy",

"it's like the enjoyment is getting too much for you, fat ne ya miki yawa" she said arms akimbo giving me a stinking glare.

  I couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction " why do you say that?" I asked.

" because you're looking for problems where there are none Du'a" she said waving her hands in my face, explaining carefully like she was speaking to a stupid, dumb, retarded child, which only made it even funnier and I burst out laughing while she rolled her eyes amusedly.

"but it's not like thaaatt" I said whining like a four year old putting my head on her shoulder in "dismay".

"hmmm, you better accept o toh!" she stated "in this day and age getting a guy like that following you around is not common, me I've said my own" she said getting up. "just think about it more carefully and try to give it a fair chance" she said a bit seriously heading for the door "im going out!"

"byeee" I called after her as she closed the door.

**************
"baba nurain!" I squeeled immediately i picked up the phone because I missed talking to him so much. Honestly I feel like we've not spoken for sooo long, it's like we really don't talk much these days, like there's a certain invisible wall between the two of us.

  "Hey ya kke" he replied cheerfully, he felt so distant over the phone, so so incredibly far away! And i couldn't help but feel the invisible rift that had formed between us or was it just my imagination?

  " I'm fine o" I answered laying back down facing the ceiling "how have you been?"

  "great, ya karatun?" he asked sounding a bit distracted.

  "it's going great." I answered.

  We talked randomly for about ten minutes about nothing really important just shallow talk before we hung up. It just didn't feel that satisfying anymore! I felt like there was more we needed to say but it just felt awkward and not the same anymore.

  I sat there lazying on phone for almost two hours before getting up, I decided to pray magrib and take a little walk to clear my head.

  Things just didn't feel the same again these days. Do you know the feeling where you feel like your entire life is changing and your priorities are also beginning to shift?

  As I walked, I reflected deeply on my life right now, it felt like I was transitioning into a new chapter or phase in my life where if my life was a TV show even "new characters are being introduced" yeah, that is just the perfect way to describe how it felt.

  Another weird thing is how Nurain and I didn't even know what our lives were upto anymore, that was the distance I was talking about. It felt awkwardit felt weird. I didn't like it one bit!

   Nurain used to be the first person I always ran to with every little detail of my life, but for some crazy reason I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my relationship with Abdul. He knew about him, but he didn't how close we eventually got and how I'm almost in a relationship with him.

  But it's not like we even talk that often anymore, it was like a giant invisible wall (I have to keep saying it) was being built between us, I don't know what was it but he just didn't seen that much accessible to me anymore. Is there possibly another girl?
 
  That mere thought spoilt my mood for the rest of the evening!