Through The Fire

7. Dads and Panic Attacks

Shelbys POV:
As I walk from the tarmac in my flight suit, I feel more elevated than usual. I only had one class today, which was flight training. I may have an advantage because of my years of experience, but there's still room to improve. School has been okay. It's fun and I'm doing something I love, but it does get stressful sometimes. Today I have a lot of homework, so I plan on doing that when I get home. I hop in my Mustang and turn on the radio for my short ride to the apartment.

I never liked math. Wasn't really my thing I'm highschool, but it turns out to fly a plane you have to know how to control it. Funny. Physics is probably the worst math there is, which is lovely cause that's what I have to do today. Hip hip hooray. After about an hour of sitting at the desk in my room, I hear a ding go off on my laptop.

You have 1 new email:
Captain Rhodes
Good evening class! You all did very well today, so I've decided to increase the difficulty level and introduce you to steeper inclines. Your plane will be at an 85 degree vertical for as long as you are able. At these high pressure levels, difficulty breathing can be dangerous, so I will explain more in class tomorrow. Stay safe!
-Your favorite instructor

I almost felt my lungs collapse just by reading the email. Steep verticals have always been a challenge for me mentally. When I was sixteen, Maverick decided to try and teach me how to stay stable in those conditions, but the last time I tried the maneuver, I passed out in the cockpit and crashed. Luckily, I was physically okay for the most part, but ever since then I've been too afraid to try it again. And now I have to do it in class, a class where I usually come out on top. My breathing gets heavier, but it only reminds me of how I felt right before passing out. I feel hot and sweaty, and my entire body begins to shake. I need to do something about this. I need to talk to somebody, but Bradley's not home yet. I decided to call the only person that will truly understand the situation, he was there after all.

"Hey, Shel! Haven't heard from you in a while, what's up?" He happily answers the phone. Thank God.

"Hey. I just...I um, I dunno. I mean I just really need to talk to you a-"

"Woah, calm down kid. What's wrong?" He starts to get worried.

"We're doing inclines...in flight training tomorrow. Like steep inclines, like 85 degree inclines." I nervously tell him and wait for a response.

"Oh. Oh shit umm. I don't really know what to say, but I'm sure you'll be fine. I know you haven't done this in a while, but it'll be okay." My dad tries to calm me down, but I'm practicing panting.

"I know we won't be going very high the first time and all, but...I'm just scared Dad." At this point tears were flowing from my eyes without hesitation, simply because I didn't know what else to do. And it didn't help admitting that I was afraid. I heard Bradley's key turn in the door sometime during this conversation, but I decided to ignore it and just talk to my dad alone. The two of them don't really mix anyway.

"Just take a breath, calm down. I know it's scary, but I also know that you are a total badass. I know you can do it, I've seen it. You just have to stay in your zone. Don't get scar-"

"I can't breathe." I stand up and start pacing. I click the button on my phone to put him on speaker, and I pace back and forth with my hands in my hair, trying to calm myself down. Please don't do this. Just calm the fuck down, God dammit. "I don't wanna crash. I don't wanna crash, Dad." I mumble.

"Take a deep breath. In your nose, out your mouth. Just calm down." I hear his voice coming from the phone speaker. Just calm down. What a great fucking idea.

"I-I can't. I can't do it...I need to-I need..."

I stand there in my bedroom with my head in my hands, trying to stop the panic attack that I know is forming . There's a knock on my bedroom door, but the door was already open. Bradley looks at me from across the room, and his expression fades from confused to concerned when he sees me crying.