8. Facing Fears and Breaking Rules

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As I stumble out of my bed and toward the bathroom, all I can think about is my incident. Of course I get flashbacks of it happening occasionally, but for years now I've tried to avoid thinking about it. Now I have to face it. As I brush my teeth, I look at myself in the mirror and try to convince me to be more confident. Since I'm flying today, I put my hair in double Dutch Braids and twists the tails into buns. I put on the majority of my flight suit, as well as some sunscreen. Once I think I'm done getting ready, I look in the mirror to see that I look as if I haven't slept in four months. Why can't I be a pretty crier? I put some concealer under my eyes, as well as my usual mascara and head out the door. When I go through the kitchen to get a granola bar, I hear Bradley come out of his room in just sweatpants. Holy abs.

"Mornin" He mumbles.

"You're up early." I point out.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay before you leave." He tells me. Stop that's so nice what.

"Oh um thanks for that. I think I'm alright."

"You think?" He just used my information getting method without even knowing. What an asshole.

"I'll be fine." I decide. "I'm a badass. I got this. It's just flying, and I'm a damn good pilot." I try to convince myself, but it comes out less sure.

"Hell yeah! You got this, you fucking badass!" He cheers me on. I just laugh and make my way towards the front door.

"Thank you, rooster." I add a chicken clucking noise before shutting the door and leaving. The drive to the academy's aircraft center is short and sweet. Once me and Stevie arrive to the parking lot, I join Reuben, Emma, Mickey, and my new friend, Sam, walking to the tarmac.

None of them know about my accident, or that I'm nervous about this. The only person at the academy besides Brad that I've told is Natasha. Just pretend you're fine, and you'll be fine. You are what you want to be.

"You guys excited for the incline stuff?" Mickey asks the group.

"I'm kinda nervous honestly." Reuben admits. Me too bro, me too.

"I'm excited, I think." Emma says.

"Me too." Sam agrees with Emma.

"I know Mitchell's not scared." Emma points out. I guess I have a reputation for being a bit...reckless. Ever since freshman year, I've been known for being fearless in the air. Most of this stuff I've already been trained for anyway. Flying is the funnest thing ever for me. It's like therapy, but free. Flying is the funnest thing ever. I just need to have fun.

"Oh she never is." Mickey laughs.

"Never." I agree. I got this shit.

"Good morning, aviators!" Captain Rhodes greets us. We sit in the classroom and he goes over our drill, explaining the details on what exactly to do. I already know what to do, so I just let my mind race back to what I did last time I tried this stunt. The maneuver is easy, it's the breathing that's hard.

"To prevent the risk of crashing, you will be given a back seater with experience in this field to help if anything goes wrong. Of course, the altitude will be fairly low and we are only climbing around 150 yards." I tune back in and my leg stops shaking. Thank God. This won't be that bad, I can do this. I'm Shelby fucking Mitchell, it's in my blood.

When it's my turn to fly, I walk across the tarmac and get inside my assigned jet. As I fly the jet into the air, almost upright but not fully, I feel the pressure pushing down on my lungs and it gets difficult to breathe. I start to panic, but I remember what my dad and Bradley both told me. I'm a badass. I can't fail now, it's not who I am, it's not what I do.

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