18. That One Summer Night

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Shelby's POV:
"And so when you're at that 50 degree incline..." My engineering professor, Mr Newart, explains. I decide to try and listen, but all I can think about is Bradley. "You can either increase or maintain your takeoff speed..." I zone out again.

As I sit in my engineering class, he's all I can think about. What if I just told him? No! That could only end badly.

My mind races to what happened that one summer that I stayed with him in his parent's house. It was way too late, and we had maybe had a little to drink. We were still in our right minds, but we weren't thinking clearly. Anyway that one night...

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'So you haven't..." Bradley asks me.

"No, no. Have you?"

"No. I don't want my first time to be just anyone." He reasons.

"Same. I mean I'm only sixteen, no rush obviously. I just don't wanna fuck someone, then break up, then see each other at school everyday." I further explain.

"Oh, see for me it's like...I don't wanna fuck someone, then realize we don't love each other, then never see each other again."

"That makes sense. I guess it should be someone that you know you'll always have." I decide, but I'm mostly talking to myself.

"Yeah. Like even if it didn't work out, they'd still be apart of your life." He says. "Like you and me." What?

"You and me?" My eyes practically bug out of my head.

"I uhh...I mean obviously we would never do that. Just someone with a similar situation." He struggles to back himself up.

"Oh. I mean I guess if we did...we'd still be friends afterwards. Right? I dunno maybe it would be awkward."

"I don't know if it'd be awkward. I honestly don't know what would happen at all. Like after, what would we even say to each other?" Neither of us answer his question for a moment, because neither of us really know the answer. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious, but we'd never actually do that.

"Wanna find out?" I blurt out. I still to this day have no clue why I said that. I see his eyes widen. "Sorry! I don't know what I'm thinking...I just..."
I look at him to see he's staring directly into my eyes. I can tell he's thinking about it. But it's me, he wouldn't do that with me.

"Don't worry about it. Honestly, I am kinda curious just to see what it'd be like. I mean after. And during I guess." He leans back on the railing of the porch.

"Are you saying..." I try to finish my sentence, but I can't form any real words right now.

"I was just...uhh. I was just thinking about...you know."

"Thinking about fucking me?" I question him very upfrontly.

"Woah...I uh-you know I-" He stutters. I look at him from my seat on the wooden railing, our faces at the same height due to him still standing.

"You're stuttering." I feel like I have the upper hand in this. "Are you nervous or something, Bradley?" I raise an eyebrow at him and put a hand on his shoulder, lightly rubbing the fabric of his tee shirt.

"Shit, Shelby." He sighs. "You know I can't...It would be wrong."

"I know it would." I nod in agreement. "It's a horrible idea, really."

"Yeah, horrible. I mean we would never do that."

"No, never! That's just not like us at all."

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