Rosekiller One-Shots

Aye, aye cap'n

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Summary: Evan is falling hard for Barty and its affecting his day to day life

Perspective: Evan, Evan, Barty

TWs: breakdowns, mention of homophobic parents, swears, nausea 

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I stared off in his directions, watching him run his fingers through his hair. He was smiling, laughing slightly.

I was in love with him. I knew that.

And I also knew that he would never love me back.

So why did it still hurt so much?

I sighed, standing up. I quickly rushed out of the door, needing fresh air.

There felt like there was something wrapping around my neck, compressing my lungs. I couldn't breathe. All I could think about was the fact that i couldn't breathe.

Once i was out of view of everyone, I started to run.

I ran through the door, slipping outside.

My vision blurred as I sunk to the ground, leaning against the wall so I wouldn't fall over.

I tucked my knees in, clutching my chest.

I still couldn't breathe. The fresh air did pretty much nothing.

I buried my head in my arms, feeling hot tears slipping down my face. I sat there, letting myself cry.

I was just so tired. I was tired of being in love with a boy i knew would never love me back. I was tired of watching him be so oblivious of my love that he would flirt with people in front of me.

But most of all, I was tired of love in general. It never worked out. I knew that. Every time i had tried i just ended up fucking it up. I mean, my parents pretty much hate each other so maybe its just in my DNA.

And then there was the other thing. I was in love with a boy. Making me gay or something like that. I honestly had no idea that I liked guys before i started falling for Barty and no matter how late I stayed up wondering, i couldn't find a label that fit. I wasn't sure if i was gay but saying i was bi or pan felt wrong.

But no matter what label i fell under, i liked boys. And my parents wouldn't be happy about that.

I felt more tears falling down my face as I thought of that. If they ever find out, what would they do? Kick me out? Disown me?

I dug my fingernails into my palm, trying to take a deep breath. 

I needed to get over this stupid crush. Barty didn't like me, i knew that. So maybe I could find a nice girl, ask her out and fall in love with her instead.

Evan what are you thinking?

I sighed, knowing that would never work. 

I just needed to stop.

"Evan?"

I didn't even need to look up to know that Regulus was standing there. I knew his voice to well.

"Go away," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Evan..." Regulus sighed, sitting down next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I couldn't help wishing that it was Barty's hand.

I pulled away quickly, hating the feeling of his hand.

"Talk to me Evan, what's going on?" he asked.

"It's none of your business Regulus,"

"You're one of my best friends Evan, it is my business. So tell me, what's wrong?"

I sat up, glancing around. It was just me and Regulus.

"Where's Barty?" I questioned.

"In the common room, why? Is this about him?"

"I- kind of," I whispered.

"Talk to me," 

"I- well you know how Barty is like my best friend?"

He nodded.

"I just don't want to mess things up with him but-"

"You're in love with him," Regulus said slowly.

"I- yeah,"

I brushed away my remaining tears, not meeting his eyes.

"And why are you having a meltdown?" He questioned.

"I- because he obviously isn't into me!" I exclaimed.

"Merlin's beard, you're an idiot!" he sighed, "have you met Barty? He's like head over heels in love with you!"

"I-"

"Stop Evan," Regulus groaned, "Now come on, you're being an idiot. Just ask him out or something."

"But what if he says no?"

"If he says no, he says no,"

"Reggie-"

"Shh, now come on, we're going back,"

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I slipped up into our room, avoiding Barty. I was in no state to interact with him at the moment.

I laid down on my bed, burying my head in my pillow. I didn't even have the energy to cry or scream, I just laid there.

I rolled onto my side, tucking my knees into my chest. I wrapped my blanket around me, staring off towards Barty's bed.

It couldn't have been that long before Regulus found me but it felt like forever since I saw Barty.

I closed my eyes and at that moment the door opened.

"Evan," Barty started.

I opened my eyes slowly, seeing him crouching down in front of me.

"Hey," I whispered.

"What's going on?" he asked, "Regulus said you weren't doing great."

"I'm okay, just nauseous," I yawned. 

I wasn't lying. I really did feel like i was going to throw up but it was more likely because of the screaming and crying I had been doing before rather than me being sick.

Barty tilted his head to the side slightly, his curling black hair falling into his eyes. I reached up and brushed it out of his face, too tired to care about whatever the hell I was doing.

He smiled then stood up slowly.

"I'll be back in a minute," he whispered, walking out of our room.

I smiled as he left then closed my eyes, waiting for him to come back.

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"Here Ev,"

I opened my eyes slowly, seeing Barty holding a bottle towards me.

"Is this poison?" I asked. I propped myself up on my elbow, taking the bottle from him.

"It's a potion," he laughed, "It's supposed to help with the nausea and such."

"I love you," I whispered after downing the potion. I really wasn't thinking about what I was saying but i really didn't care.

"I love you too," he smiled, leaning down. 

His lips met mine and he kissed me slowly. I kissed him back, reaching up and hooking my hands behind his ears.

"You're going to get sick," I whispered, staring into those chocolate brown eyes of his.

"I don't care," he whispered back, laying down next to me.

I smiled, taking his hand and squeezing it.

"Go to sleep Ev," Barty ordered, kissing my forehead.

"Aye, aye, cap'n,"

(word count: 993)