8 - The Red Beast

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• 8 months later •

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• 8 months later •

I had tried my best to recover, really, to move on, keep going, but I just couldn't. 9 months had passed since my father's death and I still couldn't have a full night of sleep.
I was still frightened by the sight of fire and I every time I would feel good, I would feel selfish to be happy the next second.

I could tell how my behavior was exhausting not just for me but for the rest of the family too. We would dine together every evening but I had to stay as far as possible from meat if I wanted to avoid throwing up.

I knew I had to pull myself together, to force myself to eat but I couldn't. I just wanted to go far away from Westeros, from this family that I loved but that kept reminding me of my father.

The only presences I could tolerate were Luke's and Trystane's. After four months I had continued my archery lessons and I would spend the rest of my time teaching Luke everything i knew in high Valyrian.  I knew that now Daemon was probably teaching him things that I didn't know. But he was still doing his lessons with me because he knew how much I needed them.

It reminded me of father. He and mother would often teach us high Valyrian.

Even if I was sad, I loved Daemon for not trying to steal my father's place.
Jace and Luke were always closer to mother and Jace knew that Ser Harwin was his real father. But I had always been my father's daughter, his only true child, and even if he loved us all, I knew that I had a special place in his heart. I was his darling girl and he was my dear father. He would bring me on his flights with Seasmoke every time he would fly with him, he would take me to the training yard, the hunts and the city as much as he could.

He had made me meet the people I would rule one day, not just the rich but the poor, the sick and the needy. He didn't want me to grow up thinking that I was better than anyone because my name was Velaryon and I had white hair. He had raised me to understand that I was going the be a queen for the people, all the people, especially the one whose opinion was never listened to.
" My sweet princess of the people." He had called me once. And after that every time we would go out of the keep for a walk the people we would cross would call me the that way.

Gods I wished I could go back then. Everything was perfect, I had my whole family with me, just us against the rest of the world. But now both my dads were dead, my sweet Jace was scared of me and my mother was already pregnant.
Everyone seemed to be happy, everyone but me.

" Aemma, the prince Daemon is here shall I let him in ?" Trystane asked but before I could answer, the prince was already in my chambers.

" My prince." I greeted him without raising my eyes to look at him.
I wanted to stay away from him. In didn't want him to ever remplace my father, to betray him.

" Daemon. Call me Daemon." He spoke taking my book to read it. A small smile appeared on his lips when he saw that I had a Valyrian book only written in Valyrian. Not that I could understand everything, but I could try. "Gaomagon ao shifang skoros vestras ?" He spoke leaning back on my desk.

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