violet skies / michael clifford

"you're fucking fifteen?"

22. you're not a truther, jessa

The wedding reception is unbearable. Michael switches between drinking and eyeing the girls sitting three tables down. I'm stuffing my face with cake, pretending I don't notice him doing it.

Ashton has a constant nervous giggle. It's like he knows something is about to happen. Whatever it is, it's bad. Luke doesn't say anything. He wears his head low, as if he's just waiting for the storm to blow over.

I'm on my second slice of cake when Ashton excuses himself and leaves the table. Blue eyes follow him as he walks, and then land on me. I chew slowly, acting busy by stabbing my fork into the chocolate decorations.

"This is a disaster," Luke says, sighing.

He's right.

Michael has been gone for a while, doing who knows what. If it has  anything to do with the other girls, I'll break. His glass is empty on the table, just a hint of liquid at the bottom.

"So you asked Ash after all," I say to Luke, trying to change the subject.

It's a little weird seeing Luke clean shaven. It makes him look a lot  younger. "I didn't want to third-wheel you guys, so I asked him to go with me. As friends."

"Friends?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what? Screw you. You and Michael are just the same." I scowl at him. I'm upset because he's pulling the friend card on Ashton just like Michael did to me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ashton isn't just a friend to you, and you know it. If you don't want to be seen out with him as more than that,  let him go. At least tell him the truth."

"Don't lecture me about telling the truth. You still haven't told Michael."

"I'm going to."

"Yesenia, listen."

Everything stops. The fork in my hand lands on the table with a clink.

"I've told you I don't use that name. I hate it."

"I know I've been a dick to you, but we're practically family now," he says, and for once there is honesty his eyes. His voice has changed as well; it's softer, nicer. Almost brotherly. "I don't want to sound rude or anything, but I really hope you know what you're doing with Michael."

"Well he's not talked to me since before the ceremony, so. . ."

"You're a nice girl. You might think you can change him, but you might end up disappointed. Michael has been through too many one night stands to care. It will take time for him to change."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because he used to give girls my number instead of his own so he didn't have to deal with them. I've had so many angry text messages from girls he messed with. I'm just looking out for you."

"So you've told him?"

"I'm sorry."

That's why Michael has been so distant the past hour. That's why his eyes have been on every other girl in the room but me.

"We had a deal, Luke!" I say, glaring at the lanky guy in front of me. He promised. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. "You lied to me."

"He was planning to take you home tonight. Even told Calum to stay away. I had to tell him. I wasn't gonna let him make that mistake."

"That wasn't your decision to make!" I stop for a moment, trying to get rid of the burning pain in my chest. "Do you know where he is? I have to find him."

It doesn't take me long. Just like Michael promised, he's at the bar. His shoulders are slumping forward as he leans his head in his hands.

I take a breath. "We haven't talked a lot tonight," I say, carefully.

"I'm not a talker." His voice is hollow and cold.

"Fine," I say, feeling my chest tighten again. I hate that he won't even turn to look at me. "Can you at least stop checking the bridesmaids out?"

"Why? Does it bother you?" Finally, he turns around, eyes slightly reddened and wild.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because you're. . ." I trail off, looking down at my feet, "you're supposed to be my date."

"Come have a drink with me, then," he says, reaching his arms towards me. He's making grabby hands. There is something in his voice. He's a little tipsy, but that's not it. It's the look in his eyes that makes me go cold. "C'mere."

"I can't," I say, taking a trembling step back. My facade is slipping. The truth is coming out.

"And why is that?" The features of his face have gone sharp, as are his words. It's not a question, really. He just wants to hear me say it. "Why can't you?"

"I'm not allowed."

"I mean, I guess I knew you were younger than eighteen." He pushes his hands through his hair, ruffling it in frustration. The glossiness of his eyes makes him look sad, confused and angry, all at the same time. "I've been so blind."

"Mikey, I–"

"Why'd you not tell me you're fucking fifteen?" he says, voice full of raspy bitterness.

"Sixteen in a few–" I say, but it barely comes out. My mouth has gone dry.

He laughs dryly, as if what I've just told him is a joke. But it's not funny. I stay completely still, but I can feel my knees shaking.

"So it's true," he says. The sharpness in his voice has me instantly  feeling cold. It's cutting me down. "I mean, Luke's been warning me, but I didn't listen. Fucking hell, you're really fifteen?"

"It's not–"

"Fucking shit-balls. I can't believe I almost took your–" There is a distant look in his eyes as the new information sinks in. He has a deep crease in his eyebrows, mouth hanging slightly open as he drags in a  breath. Then, in a swift move he downs his drink, and puts it back down on the table. "Fuck."

This time, I'm the one leaving him first.

-

I'M GOING TO SLFL TONIGHT

anyone else?

i will be the person begging for them to play airplanes by throwing paper planes onto the stage

not really but really

~lauren