violet skies / michael clifford

alternate ending

// ALTERNATE ENDING //

going somewhere, michael?

First day of tour, stupid early o' clock; I'm fairly certain I've sleepwalked from my bed and down to the van. If it weren't for the fact that Ashton is pushing his knees into the back of my seat, I'd be sleeping. I have a feeling he's deliberately trying to keep me awake and annoyed.

It's working.

We're all packed up, and I don't understand why everyone is still waiting around. And Ashton is still pissing me right of by pressing his stupid knees into my back every other minute.

"Fuck off, I'm trying to sleep," I snap at him.

"Sorry," he says, and he genuinely sounds upset. "Just trying to-"

"Michael?" Calum nudges me in the side, and I'm about to actually push his arm away, when I realise what he's looking at.

There's someone on the other side of the street. For a split second, I think I'm asleep and dreaming. But when I've rubbed my eyes, she's still there.

I scan the faces of everyone else in the van. "You knew she was coming?"

"We've been trying to keep you awake for this for the past half hour," Ashton mutters.

My legs are not completely steady when I make my way towards her. I'm not great at sentimental things. But I know the time has come for us to say goodbye. "Hey."

"Going somewhere?" She gives me a smile. "Do you have space for one more?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm ready to rock."

"What?" And then it sinks in. She's not here to say goodbye.

"I'm coming with you," she says.

Johnny leans out of the door, giving us a whistle, "Michael help the girl with her bag! A rockstar still gotta have manners."

I look dumb as fuck carrying her girly duffle. "This is the only bag you're bringing?"

"I don't need much as long as I'm with you."

It doesn't take long for us to fall out. Three weeks into the tour, and I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count on one hand. Distance breaks people apart, but living pretty much on top of each other makes people take things for granted.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" she cries. She throws herself on the bed, sobbing into the pillow.

I know she doesn't mean it. She just hates the fact that she doesn't actually hate me. This would be a lot easier if she did hate me with everything in her body. Then, at least she could walk away.

"Who is he? Tell me the truth!" I ask, wanting her to look me in the eye. It's like nobody is there. "Why can't you say where you've been?"

"Because it's none of your business, Michael!"

I should have listened to her when she asked me to let her go. She'd be better off without the constant push and pull we have. It's not healthy.

We'll never have the fairytale ending where I come back to her, sweep her of her feet and promise her everything.

And I still can't let her go. It's far too late for a clean break. I can't be with her, but I have no idea how to be without her.

"Leave, then."

"And go where?" she cries, pushing herself up to a sitting position. "Where? I have nowhere to go."

"I know," I sigh, sitting down on the bed.

The mattress dips as she climbs over to sit next to me. She lets her head rest against my shoulder. We've completed another circle of hate and love and tears and shouting and hate and back to love.

We're touring together, going new places every night. At the same time we're in a loop, going absolutely nowhere.

-

i like the real ending a lot more, but people seemed to like the idea of her actually going on tour with them

but, realistically, she's sixteen and neither of them are ready to commit to a relationship on the road

yep, i'm good at sad endings

deal with it

~lauren