Letters To You

29.

You deem me to be perfect, but love, there is nothing perfect in me. The only perfect I have is you. The emptiness I feel inside because I have given my heart, my soul, and my mind to you, is perfect. The overwhelm I feel after facing so many emotions just by looking at you, is perfect. The anxiety I feel after thinking about our distance, is perfect. The attacks I get when my dreams don't consist of you, are perfect. The insomnia I get when I can't think of anything other than you, is perfect. The paranoia I feel when you are away from me, is perfect. The hallucinations of you I have when I'm away from you, are perfect. The fear I feel when I think of losing you, is perfect. The envy I feel when you give others your smile, is perfect. These over-the-top urges I get of giving you the world, are perfect. The giddiness I feel when I meet you, is perfect. The warmth I feel when you hold me, is perfect. The pride I feel when I see you achieve something, is perfect. The satisfaction I feel when I see you getting something you want, is perfect. The only perfect in me is you. Your voice that fills my head, your image that never leaves my mind, your words that are etched in my heart, my soul that begs for a glimpse of yours, and my skin that yearns for yours, only these things are perfect in me.
I trust you with everything that I have and don't. I trust you with every cell of my body and every broken, dead heart in this shell. Trust me back, my darling. Know that if you give me your heart, I would keep it protect it with a broken one. If you allow your soul to touch mine, I would cover it with my shattered one. Never in my wildest dreams have I even thought of twisting your pure self. Never have I ever wanted to taint this heart of yours, let alone break it. I experience horror when I think of putting a hand for the wrong on you. Never think that if you allow yourself to be mine, I would burn you. I would burn the world for you, let you burn it till the soft ashes touch the sky, but never let a flame near you. I would burn fire and poison ice if they touch you. I would kill the mortals and force the immortals to live as mundanes if they look at you wrong. I would pull my eyes out before I even dream of hurting you. If you let yourself be mine, I would pray for every element that bought us together, and destroy every element that got in the way of us. I will freeze time for you, never think that I'll hurt you. I will protect every strand of your hair, never think that I'll break you. I will hold onto every fabric of your being, never think that I'll burn you.
Even if you are not mine, my love, I would still light death on fire and trap life in ice. For me, you being happy and protected is more important than pulling you into my selfish schemes. I have taken a vow to protect you, and I will do that till the end of eternity. Don't worry about having to fall into my stupid needs and fill them, my life, live the way you want to. I just want you to know that I'll always be there, hovering over your shoulders, glaring daggers at people who try to even stare at you. Tell me that you'll let me hold you, and I'll sew my skin together to touch every part of yours. Tell me that you'll talk to me, and I'll rip my throat so no sound of mine disturbs you. Tell me that you'll look at me, I'll sell my soul to the devil to have one look. Tell me you'll smile at me, and I'll cut my eyes open to look at it. I'm ready to protect you from every harm in this world, even me. Just permit me to hold you, to feel you, and to love you. I'm ready to combine hell and heaven with my efforts for you, just allow yourself to trust me, believe me, and love me.