This Life

Chapter 5

**Lizzy**

My head pounded with displeasure.

Jax was right, I had drank too much last night. The shots I had taken with Tig and Bobby is probably what did me in. They caught up with me near the end of the night. It probably didn't help that this was the only cookout known to man without crap loads of food.

I woke up feeling like I had done something I shouldn't have like a thin sheet of embarrassment draped over my shoulders. I knew at some point I had confessed to Jax about my bisexuality which I'm sure was nothing, but a pervered turn on for him.

I also was not in my bed, but in someone else's. The clothes I was wearing last night were tossed into a corner, but I was wearing clothes which was a positive, just no pants or bra. That worried me.

I felt a body press against mine; wrapping me into their warm embrace.

The body began to snore behind me, the sound of him wetting his lips, and mumbling in his sleep filled my ears. The stubble of whatever crude version of a beard he was trying to grow; bushed against the nape of my neck.

I took a deep breath in.

Worst comes to worst; it's Tig in the bed. I'll have to live with the fact that some old man made his way into my pants while I was drunk. Plus, I could have him jumped for it.

A part of me hoped it was Juice.

I began thinking of a stupid reason for him to come back; leaving the curvacious girl to her own devices - bonus points if it was the side of the road, and saving me from the fiery pits of my celibate lifestyle.

However, it didn't feel like I had sex last night. Not sure how to explain it, but there is a sensation that's hard to describe. Regardless if you had been so drunk you don't remember if you breathed enough; you'd know if you had sex.

The best thing to do was to just rip the metaphorical bandaid off, and see who this man was.

I turned over to see the sleeping face of Jax.

"Fuck." I whispered.

Jax was the last person I wanted to see in bed with me without pants and a bra.

He looked peaceful; his mouth agape as soft snores emanated from it. Drool trailing down his chin; soaking into the off-white pillow case. His face pressed against the pillow with his dirty blonde hair draped messily across his face.

I hoped that we hadn't, I guess I know we hadn't, but there was a very tiny part of me that hoped we had done something.

Though, the thought of not being able to remember his touch kills me. Can you imagine; having a crush on a guy for most of your childhood, coming back to find out he's somewhat romantically free, then BOOM - fantasy is ruined by one drunken night. That you may or may not remember; excluding whatever they remember.

Before, I hadn't noticed how much he had aged. Just like everyone else here; Jax had the faintest kiss of time on his face. The dirty blonde stubble; almost a hue of brown in the low light of morning. His chest rising and falling at such an impressively slow rate; I wouldn't be surprised if this was the only time he felt relaxed.

Jax's nose looked like it had been broken at some point; maybe, many times in his life. The way it sloped, and seemed to curve in an asymmetrical line.

His lips were there. A blushed pink hue, and scared in darker shades of pink; the remnants of a bad lip chewing habit.

They were right there.

I could have stopped imagining how they felt. I did feel myself move forward; inching just close enough that my lips were brushing against his.

Jax groaned and stretched; his arms unraveling around me, and his eyes fluttered open.