LOVER BOY // A. ARETZ

13// THANK YOU

theres gonna be talk of eds and sh, so be warned, and if you are uncomfortable with this, ill put a mark before that area starts so you can skip it, take care of yourselves, youre gorgeous <33

y/ns pov

i open my eyes slowly, my head banging, how much did i drink last night? i look to the side of my bed that usually empty and see a bare back in place of the empty spot. i do a little squeal then cover my mouth. i obviously drank enough to do that.

i wanted to go, leave, and never come back but this was my house, i couldnt just go. so instead i put some cycling shorts on and tank top, grab my airpods, and run out the door. i have no clue what time it is and i havent even properly checked my phone, all i do is playing the first playlist that comes up; and start running. i bet i look insane.

as "i think he knows" blasts in my ears, the wind pushing my hair out of my face from how quick im running, my thoughts wonder over to albert, his brown fluffy hair, and the way when it gets too long he pushes it to the side so he looks emo, ans the way he trys to act like he doesnt care, when in reality its so obvious he does. suddenly i remember the one time it got to hot in my house so he took his shirt off, and the way his back looked-...

his back.. looked like the one in my bed..

i stop running away from my house, and suddenly my destination is my bedroom and seeing whos in my bed, as i get home i realise i should get a drink, to calm myself down, i run into starbucks, and order mine and alberts normal drinks, just in case it is him. i dont run back, incase i spill the drinks, but i walk as quick as i can.

soon enough, im home, putting the drinks down on my kitchen counter. i try to move but my legs arent working. i dont want to see who it is, because if it is albert, we have to talk about it, but if it isnt, i'll feel bad.

i slowly step up the stairs and into my bedroom, but only now my bed is empty, no mystery person, or any sign of them. i think im going insane. arms snake around my waist, kisses plant themselves on my neck up to my cheek. "hi" albert says into my shoulder.

i smile widely. "im so sweaty al i dont think you want to hug me" i laugh pushing him off. theres this tension between us. "did we?" i ask him, eyes wide. "i dont know, did we?" he says back just as shocked. "well you had no shirt on when i woke up." i pull a face. "i had pant on!" he exclaims. "YES!" i shout in happiness. "why are you so excited to have not done it with me." he fakes being hurt.

"2 guys? who are close friends? in one night? who do you think i am?" i gasp. "youre y/n, youre gorgeous, smart, kind, a bitch sometimes, but also one of the best people ive ever met" he smiles. "wheres this come from?" i whisper. "i just want to show you how much you mean, youre one of my closest friends"

ouch.

"yeah" i chuckle sadly. "youre my best friend, " he smiles, and hugs me tightly. "al, my familys coming over soon, youve got to go" i pull away. "alright, ill see you later, bye lovely", i wave, "bye lover boyy"

i lied, family isnt coming over, i just need time to myself, to get my nails done, my hair, go shopping and whatever else.

i walk into my bathroom, holding my warm towel, my robe,  my new body lotion, and a cute outfit for me to wear after. i turn on the shower, and sit on my phone while the room steams up. i get undressed and as soon as the showers warm enough, i step into the shower, i wash all over me to get the drunkeness out of my system.

start of tw

i run my hand over my leg, feeling the scars that once hurt to touch. i wash my stomach and my arms. when i was with owen, all he told me was how much prettier i would be if i was thinner, smarter, quieter, etc. and i believed him. i thought i wasnt worthy of loving myself, because of a stupid teenage boy. i ate less, i still ate to make people not worry, but id count those calories, and if it was "too much" i couldnt eat it. i pour shampoo into my hand and run it through my hair. my hair started to fall out and thats when it hit me, i was stuck, i didnt know what to do, but then owen cheated on me, and i realised that the only persons opinion that mattered, was mine. i didnt have to stop eating to be beautiful, i already was. everyone's beautiful. so i dumped his ass, and recovered.