He's In The Stars

4. Sorry

3rd person:

It's been a few weeks since Hyunjin started working. He slowly, but surely got used to working there. Although, the only thing that wasn't going well was his health. He's been losing weigh, fast, he's coughing up blood, and had many dizzy spells.

Today, Hyunjin was working next to Felix and their shift was about to end. "Do you want to go watch the stars with me?" Hyunjin asked. "Sure!" Felix agreed as he put on his shoes and coat.

As Hyunjin stood up from his chair, he immediately felt dizzy and fell to the floor. Felix looked up to see what happened and was in shock when he say Hyunjin on the floor panting for air. Felix ran over to Hyunjin and helped him up slowly. "Hyunjin! Are you okay?" Hyunjin nodded his head as the pounding in his head began. "I don't think we should go see the stars again, I think you should go home, you look really pale." Hyunjin didn't have any strength in him to argue, so he just nodded his head as Felix walked his his arms hooked wit Hyunjins.

"Once they got to Hyunjins apartment door, Hyunjin stopped Felix from entering. "Whats wrong?" Felix asked, wounding why he couldn't go in. "It's just, it's just really messy so let me quickly tidy things up." Hyunjin then entered his apartment, immediately closing the door after.

Hyunjin looked around his place, seeing the disaster around him. He ran into the kitchen and picked up the garbage around the place, then moved to the living room, then to the bathroom, then to his bedroom where he hid all his meds in his nightstand, then cleaning his desk and throwing his journal in one of the desk drawers. He then went to the front door, opening it to let Felix in.

"Wow! You live in such a nice place." Felix said as he scanned the place. "How long are you going to stay?" Hyunjin asked, not trying to come off as rude. "I think it's beat if I stay the night. You don't look well and I don't want to leave you by yourself. Is that alright?" Hyunjin nodded his head. "You should go lay down in bed, you look exhausted." Felix pulled off Hyunjins backpack and hung it up on the coat rack.

Hyunjin entered his room, quickly changing his clothes and and sneaking into the bathroom to take his meds. Hyunjin then walked out and entered the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Felix walked Hyunjin to his bedroom, laying him down and putting his wrist on his forehead, checking his temperature. "Hmm, you don't feel warm, your rather more cold, you should cover up and warm up." Felix said as he sat down on the hard wood floor. "Where are you going to sleep?" Hyunjin asked, a little afraid of what the answer was going to be. "Where would you like me to sleep?" Felix asked, looking deeply into Hyunjins eyes. "You can s-sleep anywhere, I don't mind." Hyunjin answered as some blush crept up on his face. "Alright, then I'll sleep next to you in case your temperature rises." Felix smiled as he stood up and plopped his body on the bed next to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin quickly fell asleep as he was extremely exhausted from working. Felix the other hand couldn't sleep. Tonight, his insomnia was kicking in so he stood up and looked around at the place.

The reason why Felix was looking around was because he was looking for clues on why Hyunjin was so skinny and underweight, pale, and a chronic bloody nose. Felix decided to start in the kitchen. Nothing. Living room. Nothing. Bathroom. Nothing. When he went back into Hyunjins room, he decided to look into his nightstand. Felix was shocked to see many bottles of medicine in there. He instantly regretted being a snoopy person. 'This is probably why I don't have a boyfriend.' Felix thought to himself as he read what medicines there were. Felix then put everything back in its place and went to the desk. He moved papers, but making sure to put them back in the spot they were. As he opened the drawer to the beat up desk, he saw a journal. He slowly picked it up and sat down in the chair. He opened it to the most recent thing Hyunjin wrote.

Entry log: 143

Hyunjin
05/09/23

Today I had a doctors appointment.
They told me the usual, but this time they said if I keep working myself, then it will slowly kill me. Less life. I rather have less life than live a longer life without seeing that bright smile of Felix's.
The doctor also said, "if your symptoms get worse, I think it's best if you get the surgery before it's too late." Obviously I refused. I don't want strangers cutting into me. I rather live the res of my life with cancer than possibly die on the operating table.

Other than that, I had fun. Felix was with me. We watched the stars again. Every time I look at him, it makes my miserable life seem a little bit brighter. I should thank him. I should never of become friends with him. I don't want to make him sad when I die. He won't ever know that I have cancer till I die. I'm sorry Felix. Really, I am.

Small tears steamed down Felix's face as he flipped to the very beginning of the journal, wanting to read all that he's been throw.

Hyunjin suddenly woke up to Felix sniffling as he sat at the desk with his head in his lap, crying. Hyunjin froze, knowing the exact reason why he was crying. Hyunjin slowly but quietly got up from the bed and set his hand on Felix's back, startling him.

"Why did you read that?" Hyunjin asked as he felt a lump in his throat rise. Felix stood up as his red, tear stained face looked at him. "W-why didn't you tell m-me?" Felix sniffled, trying to stop crying. "I didn't want to hurt you." Hyunjin felt tears form in his eyes. Felix scoffed and let a light chuckle come out of his mouth. "You think hiding the fact that you have cancer and you're going to fucking die in a few months was helping me!?! You know how much it hurts find out like this?" Hyunjin looked down at his feet, realizing he just lost someone he loved the most in this world. A sudden wave of rage flew through him and he said, "Why the hell did you go through my things?" A small tear escaped the prison Hyunjin ruled throw his eyes, sliding down his red face. "I-I-" Hyunjin interrupted him. "Ya, you did it for no fucking reason at all. This is why you don't have a-" Hyunjin paused realizing he was out of line. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice at you." Hyunjin apologized. "Your right. If you were going to say 'this is why you don't have a boyfriend.' Then you where right. I'm a snoopy person. Okay!?! I can't help it! If I know your hiding something from me, then I just have to investigate. I'm so fucking sorry, okay?"

Felix was about to walk out of Hyunjins room, but Hyunjin grabbed his wrist pulling him into a hug. Hyunjin let a soft sob out of his mouth as he began to shake intensely. Felix wrapped his arms around Hyunjins waist, helping him stand properly. "I-I should have told you. Now I'm going to have to leave you all alone in this horrible world. I think it's best if you leave me, so you won't feel hurt by me." Hyunjin cried. Felix shook his head. "No no no no. Don't leave me. I won't leave you. I won't. I-I love you to much to leave. I know we don't know eachother that long, but your the best thing that's ever happened in my life, so you can't leave, not while you're still here." Felix began to cry again.

Hyunjin pulled Felix away from him, looking him in the eyes. "Y-you said you loved me?" Felix blushed a bit before nodding his head. Hyunjin didn't even hesitate before softly pulling him Into a sweet kiss.

"I love you too, Felix." Hyunjin said before kissing him one last time.