He's In The Stars

7. For Hyunjin

Days later...

Felix came out of the bathroom, then walked over to Hyunjin who was changing his shirt. 'Look at you, You're too skinny.' Felix said to himself as he stared at Hyunjins ribs that where popping out of his skin. "Hyunjin? How are you feeling today?" Felix asked. Hyunjin turned around with a smile. "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be, I have you with me." Felix let out a chuckle and went into a hug. Hyunjin kissed him on the forehead, then rubbing his back, making Felix relax in his arms.

Felix decided to change the subject and ask, "Are you ready for your doctor's appointment?" Hyunjin sighed as he nodded his head. "Well, we should probably get going if you don't want to be late." Felix let's go of Hyunjin and grabs his bag as well as Hyunjins. The soon walk out of the apartment and head downstairs to the car.

"Hyunjin? Hwang Hyunjin?" The nurse called. Hyunjin and Felix glanced at each other before they stood up and followed the nurse all the way to the doctors office. Felix sat down next to Hyunjin who was sitting in the familiar black leather chair that he disliked so much. Suddenly, the doctor barges into the room after a few minutes of them waiting. The doctor sat down in his chair, going into his desk, pulling out some documents, then setting them gently down on the cluttered desk.

"So hyunjin, how have you been doing? Who's this lovely young man?" The doctor starts off the conversation. "I feel a bit more dizzy than normal, but other than that I feel fine. This is my boyfriend Felix." Hyunjin points to Felix. "Well it's nice to meet you Felix, I'm Hyunjins doctor." Felix shyly say hi, then looks back at Hyunjin. Felix was nervous because this was his first time coming with Hyunjin to the doctors.

"So you say you feel more dizzy lately, correct?" The man in the white coat looks down at the papers in front of him. "Yes." Hyunjin answers. "Is it alright if I do the standard test we usually do?" Hyunjin nods as he stand up, ready to get a scan, weighed, and get blood drawn.

Hyunjin was handed a hospital gown and went into the bathroom, going as quickly as possible, then coming back out. The doctor stands up with his clipboard and points over tot he scale."let's weigh you first. Hyunjin the steps on the scale, watching the numbers go up, but not far enough. The doctor looked down at the scale with an unimpressed face. "Hyunjin, it seems you are loosing too much weight. This might be the reason why you are frequently dizzy and fainting." Hyunjin stepped off the scale, a little upset. "But I've been eating every meal." Hyunjin protests. "I understand. It might be because of the medicine you were prescribed." Hyunjin says a small 'oh' then goes to sit in a chair to get blood drawn for his blood tests.

Felix stood up and walked to stand next to Hyunjin who looked a bit tense. After the blood was drawn, the doctor took Hyunjin into another room to get a scan done on his lungs. Felix had to wait impatiently in the doctors office.

As soon as Hyunjin and the doctor got into the room, Hyunjin asked, "I'm not going to live long, am I?" The doctor looked down at the floor before answering. "By the way your health has deteriorated, it seems like you will die between 5 months, but I don't know for sure." Hyunjin then laid down on the scanning table, just wanting to get it over so he could be with Felix.

"Okay Hyunjin, you can go back into my office while I bring up the results. You can also change back into you clothes now that you've done the scan." Hyunjin nodded at what the doctor said. He quickly went back into the office.

Once he got back, Felix practically jumped out of his seat. "How did it go?" Felix asked. Hyunjin just pulled him into a hug. "It was okay." Felix let a sigh of relief out. Hyunjin the let go of Felix, grabbing his clothes and getting dressed quickly.

Soon the doctor came back with his scan results. Hyunjin and Felix both became more tense than they already are, as the doctor held the papers and sat down in his desk. "Hyunjin, would you like me to tell you this in private?" The doctor asked. "No, I want him to know." The doctor nodded as he clicked on the computer, pulling up the scan image. "Well, you see here..." the doctor showed them where the tumour in his lung was. "It looks like it's getting larger. We also calculated how long you would live for, and it seems that you only have 1 month left." Felix gasped at the sudden news. "Since your health is deteriorating so fast, you might not even have 1 month, but if you take it easy, you might get to some extra day. I'm sorry." Hyunjin just stared out the window as he thought about what he had heard.

The ride home was silent. Not a word out of anyone. Hyunjin kept a straight face on the entire time.

Once they arrived at Hyunjins apartment, Felix ran quickly to the bathroom. He quickly closed the door and with his shaky hands, he grabbed the shining scissors and a tissue, than sitting down against the bathtub. He took a few shaky breathes before digging the sharp blade into his scarred porcelain skin. Blood dripped down his wrist as he raised his other hand and put the white tissue over it. Red liquid was immediately soaked up into the tissue.

Suddenly, the door opens. To Felix's horror, he sees Hyunjin staring at the blood scissors beside him and the blood soaked tissue. Hyunjins eyes fill up with tears as he walked away, not baring to look at Felix any longer. Felix immediately stood up as the tears fell down his face uncontrollably. He ran after Hyunjin who walked away from him, attempting to leave the apartment. As Felix caught up to him, he tripped and fell, but grabbed onto Hyunjins pant leg, holding onto it for dear life. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't leave." Felix repeated over and over till he began to hyperventilate. Hyunjin then turned around to see Felix hugging his leg as his wrist was bleeding out. Hyunjin then bent down as the salty tears dripped to the cold wooden floor. He grabbed Felix's wrist and gently soaked up the blood with his white hoodie. Felix then grabbed Hyunjin and hugged him saying, "I'm sorry. Don't leave me." Hyunjin was blind from the tears that sat in his eyes, begging to be let out. "Don't. Don't!" Hyunjin said as he pulled Felix on his lap, hugging him tighter. Felix nodded as his tears where also soaked up in Hyunjins hoodie. "Don't hurt yourself." Hyunjin whispered in Felix's ear. "I won't! I promise I won't!" Felix stuttered.

As they sat there for a few minutes, Felix's wrist no longer bled, so Hyunjin softly grabbed onto his wrist and raised it to his face, then kissing his wrist. Felix began to cry harder as he knew Hyunjin was 'kissing it better'. "Please, when I die, live for me. Don't do this to yourself, you're too pure. Please live a long life. I want you to love again. I want you to die with someone that you love. Do that for me. Do you promise?" Felix nodded his head. "I promise." "Follow after me." Hyunjin instructed. "I will live for Hyunjin." "I-I will live for Hyunjin." Felix copied. "Since you said it, you have to follow through on what you said, okay?" Felix then kissed Hyunjin softly.

"I love you. I will forever."