BOYS WILL BE BUGS ~ Warren x Shrignold

12. why didn't you stop me?

TW: light homophobia

~why didn't you stop me - mitski~

WARREN POV

The momentary warmth provided by Sketch and Larry's support had faded overnight. Even though their comforting words still lingered in my mind, dread filled my heart to the very brim.

I felt like giving up on the whole situation. But from what I had observed over the years, you can't just stop liking somebody. Not really. And that was the same deal with Shrignold. I felt like no matter how much I could find wrong with him, there were always going to be things that I could find right. I wonder if he maybe thought the same about me?...No

sighing, I slipped on my t-shirt, vest, red sneakers, and shorts. I forced a brush through my purple, matter hair with struggle- though eventually simply gave up and tied it into a short ponytail at the nape of my neck, then tucked it under my 'ok stop' logo cap.

I contemplated through the night about possibly moving back to the big city, but quickly dismissed it. This is my home now. I'm happy here, right? Even so, I would be more miserable there then here, only by a bit. 

I stepped to the window and opened it, then propping my elbows on the sill and resting my face in my hands. It was more of a cloudy day now, perhaps the rain would come back. The gray was a nice contrast to all the green though. 

I looked up into the fluffy dove-gray clouds, and I could swear I saw the smallest glimpse of color. I dismissed it at first, then I saw it again. Straightening up and focusing more now for the color, and when it didn't show, a hurriedly threw off my cargo vest and forced on a hoodie- running into the wall as I did so.

Once I got it on, I practically flew down the stairs, almost running into unemployed Brendon. He shouted curses after me as I jumped onto the bottom step and ran out the door to the nearest tall tree at the beginning of the path to the field.

I immediately grabbed the lowest branch and began frantically scrambling up the tree, legs flailing out behind me and grabbed branch after branch o the way up, legs and hands getting scratched with thorns and bark. 

When I reached a wide branch and was able to stable my balance my holding onto another small branch relatively near the top of the tree, I took a deep breath. "Shrignold! Shrignold!"  I shouted into the clouds. God I feel like an idiot... I thought to myself.

"Shrignold!"  With one more shout, I saw Shrignold's head peeking out of the clouds, when he saw me, he fluttered down just above me, a confused expression painted on his face.

My breath coming in wheezy, quick gasps- I managed to squeak a few words out. "I have...some thing...to tell you-". I huffed, Shrignold grew even more confused. "Warren? What is i-"

Shrignold suddenly squeezed his eyes shut and out each gloved hand in the side of his head. His wings seemed to falter every other second as he let out pained, tearless sobs. I began to panic as I reached out for him. "Shrignold! Are you you ok?!" I called to him. He blinked his eyes a couple times before squeezing them shut again. "I have t- I have to go!" 

He began to flutter his wings more quickly, but I reached out and took his hand in mine, my heart racing. "No! You don't understand Shrignold! I like you!" I cried out to him. 

The earth seemed to go quiet... Only the cold breeze from the fluffy gray clouds blocking out the sky stirred the air. Shrignold's pained expression faded away into shock and confusion. 

"Wh-...what?"

I sighed to myself, then looked back up at Shrignold. "I like you, Shrignold. I like you. Not just in a friend way."

"Like...in a special one way?" he croaked with disbelief.

"Yes..."

It was like that for a moment more until Shrignold pulled his gloved hand from mine, my heart dropped to my stomach as I struggled to hang on to the tree branch supporting me.

"W-...I'm sorry, Warren...we're both...we can't-"

His pain came back as he gripped his hands in his fluffy black hair, looking as if he had the intention to rip it out. 

"I-...I have to go." 

He flew into the clouds, the gray swallowing him from view as I stood on the high tree branch, my mouth slightly agape and my entire body numb.

I hung my head, then looked back to the house. 

Almost every teacher, even the ones I hadn't met, were crowding outside on the doorstep. Some of their eyes, like Larry and Sketch's, looked upon with a crest-fallen expression. Others looked away in embarrassment, others shook their heads sadly and walked back inside.

I breathed outwards and looked back into the clouds where Shrignold disappeared, and I feared that it was the last time I would feel his gloved hand in mine again...

words: 832