Teaching Chay

Chapter 15

"No way. I remember the shot... He can't still be alive."

Kim is really surprised by how easily Porsche dismisses the idea of his younger brother to check if their father might still be alive. Sure, it is unlikely, and yet, how likely was it in the first place that their mother was still alive and had a connection to the Theeranpanyakul family?

They are all in Kinn and Porsche's living room, with most of the brothers and Chan sitting on the sofa. Only Porsche is pacing from one side of the room to the other. Kim has come to understand that whenever he is agitated, Porsche has to move in some way. Sometimes it's just the bouncing of his leg, but if he has the freedom to move more, he will. The twitching of his fingers, the bouncing of his leg, or fidgeting in general is one of his biggest tells.

Porchay, his younger brother, is still. He is the opposite: he freezes when he gets upset, as Kim has come to realise. Whenever Porchay is sad or upset, he will retreat into himself, fall asleep, or sit still, staring at nothing in particular. Just like now, when Porchay has become oddly still beside Kim since his brother spoke up.

"You ok?" Kim whispers in Porchay's direction and takes his hand in a show of support. He knows how scared Porchay is to upset his older brother unnecessarily, a feeling Kim can understand when he thinks of Tankhun.

"I didn't know you saw Pa getting shot," Porchay answers Kim's question in Porsche's direction. His fingers lace through Kim's and grasp them tightly.

"I didn't remember it for a long time. Our uncle fed me the lie about the car crash I was a part of. Only when... when he, our uncle, got shot, did I start to get flashbacks." Porsche stops his pacing for a moment and turns to his brother as he speaks.

"You never told me."

"I didn't want to upset you."

"What exactly do you remember?" Kim asks because he knows that they all need to know.

"I remember that I was playing in the living room, and then suddenly I knew I had to hide, so I hid in the kitchen cupboard. Korn and Gun were both there, as were a lot of guards. I remember that I knew them; they were familiar, Gun more than Korn. But they were arguing, and pa was yelling, and then there was a shot. I opened the cupboard door a bit when ma was screaming, and I saw pa lying on the floor. And then... nothing. That's all I know; no matter how hard I try, I just can't remember anything else." Porsche looks desperate, and for a moment Kim is scared he might start hitting his forehead or something. One never really knows with him. Porsche is one big mystery box, just as much as Porchay is predictable in the best way. Steady. Stable. Most of the time.

Suddenly Porsche's eyes are on Kim, and he holds the look but doesn't know what it is that Porsche wants from him. He wasn't there, and he can't give him the answers he wants.

"What if they got him help, like they did with Chan, and he survived?" Kim doesn't know why Porsche wants his opinion and not Kinn's, but Porchay speaks up before he can say anything or even think about what to reply.

"And then they locked him up, for the same reason they shot him?" Porchay wonders.

"It is possible." Chan agrees.

"But what sense would it make to lock him up for all this time after saving his life?" Kinn argues with no one in particular. He might only play the devil's advocate, but it sounds close to defending Korn.

"What sense did it make to have my mother locked up for all these years?" Porsche shoots back, apparently not totally against the theory after all, and fixes his boyfriend with a look that could mean trouble later.