Teaching Chay

Chapter 16

Later that night, Kim sits in the living room by the pool, guitar in hand, playing idly, not really paying attention as he is deep in thought. So deep, in fact, that he doesn't even hear Kinn come in, and is startled when his brother taps him lightly on the shoulder.

"You okay?" Kinn asks him with a worried look in his eyes, placing a drink on the table for him.

"Mmm, just... thinking," Kim tries to explain his state of mind without giving too much away. He and Kinn have come a long way in the last few weeks, from not having a brotherly relationship to actually having one. But some things are still difficult, especially trust. Kim still expects Kinn to betray him whenever he has a topic he wants to talk about, but then he swallows his instinct to speak, just as he has for years. The few moments he has given in have helped to build more trust, because Kinn has not let him down yet. Years of loneliness and mistrust are still hard to overcome.

"Where is Porchay?" Kinn sits down next to him, letting him know that he is staying. In a way, Kim is glad for this, and then again he is not.

"Asleep." Kim puts down the guitar and picks up the drink. "Porsche?"

"In the gym. I tried to get him to lie down and distract him, but it didn't work. He drives me crazy walking from one side of the room to the other, so I sent him to the gym."

Kim nods and can read between the lines that Kinn tried fucking Porsche to sleep, but it didn't work. In Porchay's case it worked like a charm. Getting off three times in the space of a few hours, twice before dinner and once after, exhausted him enough for him to fall asleep, though they all worry about what tomorrow will bring.

"What, no comment on the reference to our sex life?" Kinn smirks as Kim remains silent.

"I was trying to avoid commenting on it." Kim rolls his eyes. "Porchay is asleep," he says then, raising his eyebrows at his brother in a telltale manner. It's payback time, time for his brother to know how annoying it is to even think about your brother and his boyfriend in bed. Although Kim has to admit that Porsche is very easy on the eyes. At another time, in another place and with another personality, Kim would at least have fucked him.

"Oh," Kinn says, looking surprised.

"What?"

"I... It's just that Porsche mentioned a few days ago that Chay told him you hadn't had sex yet."

"We weren't," Kim confirms. If Porchay reveals these things to his brother, Kim can talk to his own.

"Oh, okay," Kinn smiles now and even blushes a little. "You waited longer than I thought."

"We didn't really wait, at least not consciously. Just... with everything that happened, I guess neither of us was in the mood and we were too exhausted."

"Still, I'm not sure I could sleep in the same bed and not ... go there."

"If Porsche asked, you could, if you didn't want to be an arsehole. Porchay didn't ask, but if he'd asked me to wait, for whatever reason, I would have. I've hurt him enough."

Kinn looks strangely guilty as Kim looks up from his drink and catches his brother's expression. He waits for the story that must be there, and finally Kinn sighs deeply. "I did hurt Porsche before we were even together, because I didn't wait. I didn't wait and took advantage of him when someone drugged him. I'm lucky that he forgave me afterwards."

Kinn is embarrassed, scratches his neck and Kim remains silent, taking a sip of his drink as he considers this new information.

"Do you think, given the choice, they would be better off without us? I mean all of them, even Namphueng?" Kim finally asks his brother, not reacting directly to his brother's fuckup.