Venom

29: What Lays Beneath

To understand desire was to know what was empty within a life, the gaping hole in the everyday pause, the sensation that something was amiss. Being near a source of happiness, but only being able to watch, to touch with a rarity. A brush of the hand on a delicate existence that needed comfort but did not welcome it was to desire an answer to a complex question. Who filled what? Both near but unable to acknowledge the cycle of when one gave the other reason, purpose because such beings were incomplete but full when together. A cycle where neither look back or cease to move, can only be brought to an end by a force stronger than the desire for momentary comfort.

She had begun to shake the moment those promising words had left his mouth. The exquisite existence of freedom from a tortuous loop, but at what cost? I had placed my hand on her shoulder to give her a moment's comfort, to remind her she was not alone but at his damning declaration I think the hold became for my own sanity. It felt as if removing myself would be agreeing to letting her go.

I knew there was a reason why I disliked the male so much upon our first meeting. I was glad Mykela stood in front of me as I glared, my expression unfamiliar to my mind, the form of my mouth between two words, my teeth all wrong. I was torn between wanting to remove him and wanting to take Mykela into a never breaking hold so I locked my body into place. I could not react yet. I would wait. I could wait. I glanced down at her.

What would her face look like now? Would she be happy to be free of me? Rationality and reason was hard to hold onto when instinct wanted to prevent escape. Moments like this were difficult for me. Do I cater to the truth of who I am or do I hold onto the mind that acknowledges the consequences of action? For such a heavy question, the cooling of all emotion within me as the sway between the two options felt too easy to fall prey to. The rage and fear was being swallowed by the predator that knew how to hold onto what it wanted.

Perhaps because there was another like me here, that could read my inhumane face and tell that something dangerous was coming to the surface, a breakthrough comment was made.

"Well, this field trip is officially on hold, everybody back inside." Viper commented not at all casually, motioning to the tower as her eyes spoke to me alone. A cautious warning and panic. I stared at her blankly before rearranging my face to the best of my control.

"Yes, I believe such a discussion should be taken inside." Florence murmured delicately, looking back in the direction of the tower.

Everyone was silent on the walk back, lost in their own thoughts no doubt, but my options lurked high, waiting to strike at the first sign of weakness. I kept my eyes on Mykela as she walked ahead, silent, ever so silent and unresponsive. I tried clearing my mind of the buzzing, my jaw clenched tight.

"Stop it." Viper hissed only for my ears at my side. "Get your shit together before she turns around and realizes you're three seconds away from going feral. Don't jump to conclusions yet."

How did I explain to her the feeling of loss trying to creep up and the itching at my fingertips to destroy that which threatened it all, but knowing that to do so would damn her in what could be her final chance of freedom. A freedom that I had never expected included the removal of me in her life? She eyed me distrustfully, dragging a hand down her face before shaking her arms out and marching forward.

"Viper to situation control, wee-ohh-wee-ohh." She muttered as she passed by me. I stared after her and watched her take pace with Mykela who didn't seem to notice or care. Her stare had remained fixed to the trail ever since we had decided to head back. Despite her being the center of this all, she was the least vocal on what she wished to do now.

"Don't mope, there's always a third option." Viper tsked, she spoke as if being optimistic was the only obvious choice, her conviction unshaken. I tried to follow her lead. "So don't get any crazy ideas."