Always

funeral

It's been a few days since Lee died and today was his funeral. I haven't left my room much since he died. I hear I knock on my bedroom door.
"Oakley can I come in?" I hear rips voice say from outside.
"Yeah rip come in."
"You gotta come out, today's the funeral."
"Damn not even an are you ok."
"I can tell your not ok, why ask when I already know the answer?"
"Why are you here rip, did my dad send you?"
" no , Oakley, one I care about you and two Lee said to keep you safe, that wasn't just for moving the river."
"I am sorry rip I just don't want to do this."
"I know, because it's sending him off, saying he's really dead, I can promise you no one wants to so this, no one wants to believe he's gone."
"I just... Lee was my best friends, I love him so much." I say breaking down in tears.
"I know darlin, I know." Rip says pulling me into a hug. "Look at me, can you do this, not for me or your dad or siblings. But for Lee." I shake my head and rip walks me out of the house. Walking down the road to where Lee's funeral was being held was hard, but rip was right its hard because I don't want to believe he's gone. After the funeral I walked next to my dad and Beth. Rip behind us. My dad stopped finding kayce and I walked to the barn to find my horse.
" you feeling better?" Rip asked leaning on the stall door.
"Yeah, I think I realized that being sad isn't going to bring him back." I responded
"Let me tell you, the hardest thing I have done is my life is funerals, and I have done a lot of bad things, they never get easier."
"I have only been to one other one and it was my mom's I was to young to remember."
"I promise, it just takes time to heal." Rip said quietly enough only for my ears to hear.
"Rip if you see my dad tell him I am going for a ride."
"I will, hey if you need anything just let me know, ok."
"Thank you rip." He nodded and walked off as I mounted my horse.

____________________________________________
  
   Getting back to the hotel after my ride. I need to talk to my dad. There was a few men that saw what happened with Lee and it was going to cause a problem. 
    "So when are we taking care of this issue dad?" I ask him.
    "Damn it Oakley if you want to take care of it this bad, go with rip tonight."
     "Dad I can't go with rip." I say quietly
     "Why the hell not?"
     "He doesn't know."
      "Know what?"
       "That I am branded, you did it with kayce, he wasn't there."
       "So what's it matter, just tell him." I gave my dad a look and walked back outside. I walk over to rip, he had just come out of the bunkhouse.
     "Hey, rip I am going with you tonight." I say to him
     "How the hell do you know about that? You can't go Oakley its...." Rip said back confused.
     " Rip... I am branded." I say looking up at him.
     "What the fuck no, your not. Why? No Oakley I am supposed to keep you safe, thats literally my fucken job, your not going."
     "Yes, yes I am, daddy's said." He looked at me, he was upset I could tell. He walked to his truck and opened the passes side door,
     "Well then get in." He said sternly. I jogged over to the truck and jumped in. The drive was pretty quiet intill.
      "Why?" He said very quietly.
       "Dad did it when he did kayce, he told me it was so I didn't leave, but... I guess I also saw something I way suppose to." O said looking over at him hoping he didn't ask what I saw.
       "What did you see?" He said back with a gruff voice. Shit thats exactly what I didn't want him to say.
       "Um I Uh, saw you." His neck whipped towards me.  I looked out the window nervous.
       "What the fuck do you mean?" He said confused.
       "Well um you and Lloyd were taking care of a problem, one of the hands had got out of line..... you said you were taking them to the train station. I was in the barn with my horse, I was supposed to be in bed, the next morning I ask my dad what the train station was and he freaked out." I explained
     "Shit." Rip said with a deep breath.
      "It wasn't your guys fault. I shouldn't have been out there, it was my fault completely."
      "Jesus I must suck at my job, I was supposed to keep you safe Oakley that's my job keep the duttons safe and I am the one who lead you straight into the part of the world I was supposed to keep you out of." He said upset.
     "No Rip no I..." I looked out the window. "Don't blame yourself for my stupidity." I said sighing. Rip stayed quiet, I knew he was going to think it was his fault. That's why I didn't tell him.
    "This guy has proof, he is an addict and I vote you stay in the truck." He said to me with no emotion in his voice.
    "Rip."
     "It's one guy ok, I will walk in take care of him and walk out."
     "If I stay in the truck will you stop winning like a little baby." I said and he rolled his eyes and shook his head saying yes.
     "I will be back, you hear, STAY IN THE TRUCK." He said sternly. I shake my head and give him a sarcastic smile. Watching him walk inside. I knew what is was about to do, and yet I will never look at him any different. Rip and I have always had a relationship just like that, he goes on and on about keeping me safe and I tell him I am a big girl and can take care of myself. But yet he always wins.