Love is a flower | bbangsaz

21

Dear My Hanni,

It's been four weeks, three days, and five hours that we aren't talking anymore. Yes, I'm counting it, and yes I'm sitting down at my table, hand-writing this letter to you. You've done this to me Hanni, you've brought out this pathetic, lovesick sap in me.

Why am I not typing this on my new laptop you may ask? Well because, I see this romantic gesture where I write this in my perfected calligraphy, write words of love to you, and as you read it you realize you should forgive me, and you embrace me, you hold me and you don't let go.. ever..

Don't you see what you've done to me Hanni? For Christ's sake I was the ice queen, the unwavering and merciless bitch. I still pretend that I am, but you know better, you know I'm not. Even though I try glaring at you and hating you, I can't. The moment I lock in those chocolate eyes of yours, I melt, I turn into mush. I tried Hanni, I tried so hard these past few weeks to hate you, but it's not working.

I want to hate you, because you hate me. I can see it in your eyes, the eyes that once looked at me with care, that sent waves of pleasure and lust through my body, the eyes that comforted me in my darkest moments. It pains me to see you like that because I know I did that to you. I would give anything to see those dimples and that dazzling smile of yours directed at me. I would give anything just to run my hand through your smooth locks. And most of all I would give anything just to taste those lips of yours.

You know, I've been playing this song from Beethoven for days now. Its melody is entrancing, kind of melancholic but utterly beautiful. It reminds me of my love towards you. I'd want to play it for you someday, but I know I won't have the chance to.

I want to cry again, Hanni, now that I'm writing this. My heart is constricting under this unbearable ache because I know I probably won't have you ever again. It's a pain unlike any other, and I want to hate you for inflicting it on me. I want to hate you so much Hanni, but I can't. I love you instead, I love you with every heartbeat and every breath I take. Sadly you'll never know it..

Always yours,

Minji.

• • •

Hanni wiped off the dampness from her forehead with her towel as she finished with cheering practice. Danielle shot her a weird questioning side glance, as she did for the past month or so. Hanni sighed knowing that she will have to confide in her friend sooner or later. But she'd just rather forget, obliterate any memory of her relationship with Minji from her mind.

Heejin, one of the girls from the squad, asked her if she was alright. She just nodded her head and mustered a fake smile. This is how Minji must have felt with all of those fake smiles, the thought fleeted her mind. Despite trying to think as least as possible of the raven-haired Minji's always find a way to creep up into her thoughts.

"Let's go to class, Hanni." Danielle called her.

"Sure, let's just go quickly to my locker, I have to grab something." Hanni said, fastening the laces on her boots.

This morning they had an early practice because the cheering competition was nearing. Hanni occupied herself with school, work and cheering. She was doing anything to avoid thinking of Minji. She decided she would go away for the summer, she needed a break from AustraYujin.

She thought of visiting her brother who was somewhere in Thailand at the time. He was a couple years older, and he was that artsy type that lived nomadic life, but she figured she'd want some adventure in her life. She had to talk to him about it, but she didn't see why he would say no.

Walking down the hallway some people shot her curious glances. Apparently, that slut that was with Seojun during the gala, spread the rumor of her and Minji being caught in an embrace. As it usually happens she added some things, just to make it juicier.