𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ✦ 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

𝟖 ✦ 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

[𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 - 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲]
ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.
0:00 ─〇───── 0:00
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

✦

⚠️ 𝐓𝐖: minor mention of self harm ⚠️

┌───── ✦ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐢 ✦ ─────┐

I took a deep breath in and came back to my senses as I opened my eyes. my body ached again as soon as I was conscious. Internally sighing; I turned to my left and looked at my mother, who had been beside me since yesterday.

She made sure I ate enough and snuggled with me while we watched some of our favorite old movies. She didn't force me to speak about what I did, or why I did it. She knew that at that moment I just needed to rest; physically and mentally.

Whenever I felt down when I was younger, my mother would always find a way to cheer me up, even in the slightest bit. She knew that as a young girl, I suffered a lot with expressing my emotions and feelings, especially when my 'father' & her 'husband' had made our household a living hell.
Sometimes even my mother couldn't bare the suffering she endured because of that devil of a man; she made sure I don't get affected by his words and actions when in reality, she would get hurt the most.

She would hold everything in; I rarely saw her cry, but I knew. I knew how hurt she actually was. I knew that she genuinely cared about me and my feelings. I knew that she would sacrifice anything & everything for my sake. I knew that she genuinely wanted our family to stay, but not every story has its happily ever after.

I never deserved her.

✦

I was struggling to keep my eyes open and pay attention in class, but I was internally fighting against many nights of insomnia.

A knock was suddenly heard, shifting my attention to the classroom's door. The door then opened revealing our supervisor.

"Hey there everyone! I just quickly came here to inform you all that admissions for the Seoul National Sports & Arts Tournament are open! The tournament is not until after a month, so you'll have plenty of time to practice. I assume most of you noticed the construction in the second floor, that room is going to be a studio, and it's made specifically for students with dance majors. I will hang this paper up on the board next to the chemistry lab, anyone wanting to join can just write their name and sign this paper. Thank you, Mrs. Park!", he smiled at our teacher and left.

✦

I stared at the paper that was hung up on the board. I don't even know why I'm staring at this paper when I don't even do sports, or at least, haven't done it in a very very long time.

Ballet was something I was very passionate about, it was the only thing that kept my spirit alive, that was until he left. Every time I came to dance I felt as if there was this huge barrier that stopped me. I would break down in tears every time I would slip on my pointe shoes, because he was the only memory about ballet that my brain refused to forget. Yes, he affected me that much.

What if I won't be able to control my emotions?

It's ok, we'll get over it.