Dreamily ETERNAL

Pride And Contemplation

Peculiar worth.

Odd lonely smiles that I couldn't show to anyone around me. I guessed only the demon(s) could see them. I felt that scaring away Phantom was enough to align me with the spirits. I'd almost slapped or punched one of their own. One who'd come as a top dog. That was a debut win for me. A distinct case. There had been dreams in which I slayed or mostly beat up monsters that were obviously present for my wicked satisfaction. Or indirect revenge for what the superior categories had done to me in the other experiences. Some sort of compensation, maybe. Dreams and nightmares were hugely unpredictable and so, on so many occasions, I really had no intention whatsoever. If the chance had come for me to be the dream star, then I became one.

Perhaps, that had been the case when it came to Phantom's battle with me. The tables had to turn but who knew they would in such a manner? My soul had never had the urge to retaliate against a powerful fiend and then succeed. The normal always repeated itself, leaving my whole system limp at the end.

When I woke up and turned in my bed, the spirit of self-worth greeted me. I could not suppress the initial smiles, smirks and grins. After all, I occupied the upper bed of the wooden double-decker in a bedroom that was yet to receive the morning light. The curtains were still drawn and at the time, I had turned into one who wakes up late. I'd just finished school and I was my boss without any monetary earnings.

A cousin of mine occupied the lower bed but he was already out, attending school. Of course, he always had to wake up early and distort my enjoyment of the sweet morning sleep by flipping on the light switch, making preparatory noises that I nearly loudly cursed cause I hated it. In addition, his actions always left the curtain slightly open on the side where I rested my head. He was lucky. I was the quiet type that found it hard to express my reactions verbally. I would eventually find a solution for every loophole of his courtesy. Regardless, I always went back to sleep so that I could wake up at what I thought was my appropriate time of getting up or until I had exhausted my enjoyment.

It wasn't any different today. The sun was already out and some light diffused through the creamish curtain, making it possible for me to discern almost everything in the room. I sat up with my legs still lying and played back the events of the nightmare in my fresh morning mind.

I looked up at the ceiling in remembrance of Phantom's retreat as I contemplated on whether to offer myself another contemptuous smile. A part of me wanted to reward my success with the smirk whilst another encouraged me to instead think further about the incident. In that process, I just did the latter. But the pride wasn't buried far. Anytime it exceeded whatever the barrier that existed, I easily allowed my lips to tug with effect. Even when I went to the bathroom, same thing. I could barely resist the private expression. I didn't want people to look at me and suspect that I was running mad or something—for that was one of the signs of insanity according to the normal world. If they'd known why I was regularly all smiley, it would still be an abnormal reason. I wasn't ready to risk stupid questions. Stupid—they would sound to me since the things that made their lips curve delightedly were immensely different from what I would consider worth or necessary for my case.

I'd warded off Phantom. Was there any other extraordinary achievement? Not really. Successes in motherfucking heterosexual marriage and childbearing were the stupidest thing in life—according to me. Others too had the right to think shit. I'd thought about my own. Almost everyone around me was either a parent or an affiliate of the stupidity.

Enough!

My brain. That was one of many aspects to blame for all the wordy manifestations. My brain. One of the many elements responsible for the thoughts following a successful rare dare. Even before that, this mind of mine was lucky to have a lonely space at the time, a factor that favoured its coming up with all the complicated impressions.