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"Okay, 10-blade." Amelia exhaled slowly, holding out her hand. It was late, and the thing fueling her through this minimally invasive surgery was two shots of straight espresso.

Stephanie stood to help her guide the probe and needle, and Dr. Najjer was standing in the gallery watching.

Amelia slowly cut a centimeter-long incision into a shaved section, right at the front of Meredith's scalp. She paused for a moment, allowing Stephanie to dab the blood. Looking down at Meredith, she could see the fatigue was gone. She looked calm and at peace, even with the tape over her eyes.

"Drill." She nodded as it was placed in her hand. The procedure was simple, the grueling part could be the side effects.

She drilled a hole through the skull, just enough to break through the bone and not damage the dura. After the drill stopped and the brain was barely exposed, all that was left to do was send a needle to the frontal lobe of the right hemisphere of her brain and take a small sample of viable brain matter.

"Edwards, will you please secure the clamp." She gestured while lifting the long probe, a needle-like tweezer equipped at the end.

She sent the needle in slowly, holding her breath as it pierced the sensitive organ. Most brain biopsies go smoothly, but there is always a risk of error when dealing with the brain.

"Taking the sample now." She whispered, entirely focused on the patient in front of her. The needle slipped in and out quickly. Stephanie gripped the end and brought it to a sterile sample holder to preserve the bit.

"Okay, Edwards, take that to Path now, the results should return in an hour or two." She nodded, mostly to herself. All that was left was to fill the hole, and safely enough to ensure there was no risk of swelling or bleeding.

—————

"Great Job, Dr. Shepherd," Souhel spoke right as Amelia exited the scrub room. She inhaled quickly and then rested in a smiling, comfortable position.

"Thank you, Dr. Najjer. I am going to get some rest before her results come back." She smiled while pulling off her scrub cap. She didn't necessarily need to perform that procedure, it was simple enough for a 5th-year resident, or even a fellow. But it was a very important person. She had to be the one to do it.

"Please, Doctor. I will have your resident wake you with the results." He smiled while gesturing her down the hall, allowing her to walk by. She smiled at him lightly and turned down the hall, folding her scrub cap in her hands.

Her face fell into a restless holding position as she ventured slowly, twisting and pulling at the cloth in her fingers. She was nervous. The fear that the test would bring back zero results. The fear that there would still be no answers.

She picked anxiously as she came in view of the on-call room, grateful to find it empty upon opening the door. She walked towards the bottom bunk of the nearest bed and collapsed. She breathed slowly, feeling an onslaught of emotion begin to trifle through her chest.

Her lip quivering through shaky breaths, she squeezed her eyes tight in an attempt to prevent the breakdown that wanted to explode.

The thought of Meredith being okay sent her into an ecstatic state, but the thought of all their efforts turning inconclusive sent her into a fearful one.

What if there was nothing found in the results? What if there was nothing to fix? She exhaled gently while pressing a palm against her chest. The thoughts were making her crazy.

She turned uncomfortably and ruffled some of her hair that sat too tight on her head:

It was time to forget the things she couldn't change.

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 19, 2023 ⏰

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