Silent Chaos| Matt Sturniolo

Chapter 15

You know that moment in movies where everything seems to slow and suddenly you can hear your own heartbeat? When your ears start ringing and that's the only noise you can hear besides your thumping heart. Well that's what was happening.

They said he has stage 3 cancer. They said they got him the best doctors money could buy. They said he's in Germany. They said that once my winter break starts, we'll all be going to Germany because his dying wish is to repair our broken family. After that their voices just started to sound like gibberish, my brain not able to keep up.

"Excuse me." I say once I couldn't handle anymore and left the room.

I called Maya. I didn't tell her anything, just asked if she could pick me up. I was sitting on the sidewalk waiting for her to come. When she came she didn't say anything, it's that's unspoken bond she just knew. All she told me was to get in as she drives us to the nearest convenience store to buy some ice cream. I get a whole tub as she buys a cone.

She then takes us to the park where we sit watching life pass by. I open the tub of ice cream as I look at it for a moment. I cant even remember the last time I ate, much less the last time I ate ice cream.

I took the plastic spoon and I started to dig in. After a couple bites my eyes started to sting and soon after droplets start to fall down my cheek. My numbness was starting to break.

             Halfway through the tub I and I was full out bawling. Maya didn't budge though she kept  her gaze forward, not looking at me because Maya knew that the last thing I wanted was anyone to see me cry.

I cant even remember the last time I cried. The feeling was foreign to me, but for the first time in my life I felt lost. Genuinely and truly lost. I didn't know what I believed anymore and I didn't know if I could afford to believe in them anymore.

I finished the entire tub of ice cream and once I was done, so were the tears. The panic of what I ate didn't set in, I knew it would set in as soon as I had the energy to think about it.

All I knew was that winter break was in two weeks. Two weeks until I have to face what might be the biggest battle of my life.

I wondered if we could even afford two weeks.

~~~

"Winter Formal is this Saturday and I haven't found anything to wear." Sasha sighs frustrated. "Do you guys want to go dress shopping after school?"

"I can't today, I have babysitting after school." Maya tells her as she loads her books into her locker.

"I have some dresses I haven't worn at home. I might just wear one of those." I tell her, "but I'll still come with you if you want."

"You're the best Ams." Sasha says squeezing me in a hug. I did have dresses at home, but the reason why I don't like shopping for clothes is trying them on and then hating how my body looks and then the emotional breakdown that comes after. It's not pretty.

"Can Matt drive us actually? I think my mom is busy today and I don't want to go another day because the more time we waste the less dresses there will be." Sasha starts to panic and I knew it was probably best to calm her before she gets in over her head.

"I'll ask him." I promise her.

"Did I hear my name?" Matt's voice cuts through the air as I suddenly felt his presence. The butterflies quickly spring to life like clockwork.

"Hi Matt!" Sasha chirps as Maya gives a bored greeting as well. "We were just wondering if you can take us to the mall after school."

"Hello, and sure no problem." Matt responds kindly being extra friendly this morning.