I'm here but not here mentally
My zoning out is constant, see
I'm stuck inside
What I define
As "dark mentality"
Anxiety's depravity
Has got it's nasty grip
Every time I have a certain thought
I start to slip
My thoughts are very jumbled
My head, it starts to muddle
Till out of foggy darkness steps
A figure very subtle
He looks at me amused
He says he has no name
He tells me that he'll stick around
To watch me fall to shame
And as I try to put my gloomy thoughts
Upon the shelf
He grins at me real wide
And starts to introduce himself
"I come from all your pain and fear
That's how I manifest
Teen selfishness and ignorance
Help more than all the rest
You're searching and I find you
I've appeared to bind you
And keep you locked forever
Behind cynicism doors"
As I watch the ball of horrid hate
In front of me
I come up with a name for him:
"Negativity"
I call him this, he laughs at me,
It's not a big surprise
I gather what courage I can
And look him in the eyes
"Yes, I'm pessimistic too
I have my share of moments
But I still pick myself back up
I need to keep on going
You may capture others
But you'll never capture me
I'm stronger than I even think
I will not turn or flee"
He seems to be in shock
I think I may have angered him
But then he's gone and so dissolves
The darkness cold and grim
I sit and watch the world around me
All come rushing back
I'm sitting in a lecture
My teacher's teaching class
I feel relieved but not for long
I realize bitterly
That in my head is probably
The hardest place to be
These thoughts are still all circling
As I turn off the light
And lay down underneath the covers
Tucked in nice and tight
It's all an endless cycle
The edges creeping in
Before I can remind myself
That I'm okay again
I understand it's not just me
That has these episodes
Every single person carries
Their own type of load
Maybe that's just how it is
And forevermore will be
Or perhaps it is to be the downfall
Of our 'dear' society
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
My Poems
ПоэзияA bunch of poems that I've written on various topics. Most of them are a bit dark, so if you get triggered easily I wouldn't suggest reading them. The reason it's rated as mature is because I don't know whether it would be too much for certain audie...
