Falling

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TW: Panic attacks, allude to suicidal thoughts

The entire world feels like it's spinning. I literally can not form a single thought. My body is on fire and not in the good bubbly way that you read in romance books.

Em breathe. Ground yourself before you lose yourself. If you need help ask

Conrad isn't answering. Jeremiah isn't home. Mom is dead.

Call Cameron. You know he will answer. He cares so much about you. He has made that clear.

But he hasn't answered your texts in over two hours. Maybe he hates you. Maybe he met a girl with. A million and one less issues than you. Good for him. He deserves that. He really does.

Okay, breathe. What would Mom tell you to do? If she was here what would she tell you to do?

God Mom, please. Please come back and help me I can't do this I can't do anything. I feel so alone. Please, or let me just go wherever the hell you are. I can't breathe. Please. Help. Why is my fucking hair touching me? Where are Cameron's clothes? Where is my Mommy blanket?

Text Cameron again. He loves you Em.

There is no calm. I can't breathe. I can't do this anymore. I literally can't do this. I can't function. Please. I just want to scream.

Emilia: Hey.

Cameron : Hi, pretty. What's up?

Emilia: Sorry

Cameron : Woah woah woah. Why sorry? Are you okay? What's going on honey?

Emilia: I just can't do this right now.

Incoming call Cameron

"Hey, baby girl," he said calmly the second I answered my phone. "I love you. Talk to me."

I looked at the phone and could speak. I finally found his clothes that I took from the closet and changed into them.

"Emilia," he sang "what's going on pretty girl? Why aren't you talking to me? I love your voice can you share it with me?"

I heard the wind in the background. I'm pretty sure I heard waves too.

"Sorry," I whispered.

He took a deep breath, "No sorry. What's going on? Talk to me."

I shook my head and hugged the clothes of his I wasn't already wearing, "I don't know. I just- I don't know," I whispered, tears pouring out of my eyes.

"Hey hey hey. I love you. Breathe. You're okay. You don't have to know. What are you doing? What are you wearing? Tell me what's going on physically."

I took in a shaky breath, "Boxers...yours and a Cousins shirt. I'm snuggling the other stuff that smells like you."

There was a pause on the other end, "That's so sweet. Is the Cousins shirt mine too? Which one is it, I have millions and I know you have quite a few of them."

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