Why Would I Fall for You

It's Not Me, It's You

Gale was staring at her hands. It was something she commonly did when she wanted to avoid her thoughts, as her hands told a story all by themselves. She traced the scars she'd gotten from unhooking a thrashing Arctic Char from the tangles of the net on her father's ship. She rubbed the callouses she'd developed from tugging and knotting miles of worn rope. Her fingers were rough, strong, hardened. Useful for things like rigging a ship, like carving wood. 

Her mind wandered, as it so often did, to another pair of hands that had been on her mind lately. Soft, nimble, commonly studded with mother-of-pearl rings and silver bands. Hands that belonged to someone prettier then Gale could ever recall seeing. 

A locker door slammed and Gale flinched, snapping out of her musings. It was after the last class of the day, and the students of Shadow High were heading back to their dorms to unwind after a long school day, or to the on-campus mess hall for a bite. 

A first year student who's name Gale couldn't remember passed by. She vaguely remembered trying to make friends with the boy, but for some reason he had burst into tears once she pointed out the very obvious bald spot in his hair. No one appreciated her insights. She'd stuffed him in a locker later, anyways. She stared at him as he passed, feeling rather annoyed when he purposefully took the long way around her, bumping into a trash can in his haste. Gale straightened and took in a breath, ready to tell him what's what-

"GALE!"

Gale whipped around and blanched. Nixie Neptunus, one of the most kind and well-loved students at Shadow High, had her fists clenched and her eyes blazing. Gale knew that Nixie couldn't see her eyes underneath her thick bangs, but she narrowed them anyways. Nixie was often the picture of sweetness, the apple of everyone's eye. But Gale had a certain talent of whipping her into a fury.

"I was just going to tell him-"

"Would you just leave people alone for once, Gale? You're not doing anyone favors by interacting with them. Let him live. He didn't do anything to you."

"Actually, his outfit was offending me. Who on earth pairs a silk blouse with-"

"Is this how you live your life? Just criticism after criticism? Gods, how do you even sleep at night?"

Gale paused, her stomach clenching. She knew she should turn away, she knew she should just take it and move on. Why did she have to get so MAD all the time? 

"There's a reason you don't have friends, Gale, and you know it."

Gale froze. Nixie had never gone that far before. To be fair, Gale hadn't dumped live squid into the beds of Nixie's roommates before, either, but that wasn't anything to be sorry about. They'd looked bored, anyways. She'd given them something to do for an hour and a half.

Nixie's comment, nevertheless, stabbed Gale where words usually bounced off like raindrops on a duck's back. 

"I've tried, Nixie. It's not my fault everyone at this school has no taste or talent. I never wanted to come here anyways." 

She folded her arms and attempted to lean nonchalantly against the lockers, ignoring the fact that her ears felt warm and her heart was racing.  She wanted to lash out, to start yelling. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Nixie could so effortlessly make connections with people. She envied her, and it was something she was never going to tell anyone. 

Nixie sighed heavily, her flare of temper lost. She didn't have the energy to reason with Gale, not today. 

"You know, Gale, I'm sure there's someone deep, deep inside of you who really isn't a bad person. You should give her a chance."

Nixie effortlessly tossed her flowing pink waves over her shoulder, striding past Gale with purpose. 

Gale glowered, her chest getting tight. She turned around and punched the locker behind her, leaving a sizeable dent. She struggled for breath, a hundred different things she could say coming to mind and then all of them leaving. This back-and-forth with Nixie had been going on for longer then Gale wanted to admit. 

Ever since she'd gotten to Shadow High, something had changed. Not something she'd ever tell her mandatory counsellor, but it had. In most public schools back in Finland, Gale had been an absolute terror. She never listened to her teachers. She berated peers to the point of physical violence if they so much as breathed at her wrong. And she didn't care, either. It felt good to release her rage. She could do things at school that she would never be allowed to at home; and she knew she wouldn't get hurt for it while she was there, either. When her parents had finally made the decision to send her to the United States to live with her cousin and attend school with her, Gale had hadn't expected things to change.

But... Shadow High was different. She found a new outlet. She was allowed to create, to draw out her ideas in the margins of her math homework, to bring her fascinating ideas to life. But Gale discovered that despite the change, she still didn't have the faintest idea how to make friends. She tried to be honest with them, hoping to connect with others over common shortcomings. But her attempts often failed and she became frustrated. Even at a fresh new school, Gale found herself right back to square one. Alone.

Without her realising, tears bubbled up and trickled down her cheeks, and Gale choked a bit, trying to keep it down. 

She looked down at her hands again. That was the difference between her and Nixie, wasn't it? Nixie's hands had always been used for good. 

Gale only knew how to destroy.