Why Would I Fall for You

Forging A Rope Begins With Thread

The following morning was a rather quiet one, with sparse clouds blotting the rising sun here and there. Gale opted to get up earlier than usual, peeking awkwardly into the kitchenette area to see if anyone was up yet. The coast was clear.

Gale quietly sat on one of the polished black Shadow High stools, putting her face in her hands and trying to ignore the twisting knot in the pit of her stomach. Everything felt dim and cold. 

What if January never wanted to talk to her again? Gale thought of all the times January had stuck up for her when she first moved to Oregon. The way that they'd been okay with letting her into their life, their home, with their dads. And Gale had hardly done a thing for Janny in return. Now THIS.

The creaking of someone's door snapped Gale out of her thoughts, and her heart started thudding. Sure enough, January had emerged from his room, sleepily shuffling to the kitchenette to make her morning chai. They looked up and blanched, seeing Gale already there. January quickly turned, ready to retreat back into their room. 

"January, wait." Gale reached out her hand weakly, not even close enough to tap her cousin's shoulder. 

January turned around, and Gale winced at the frightened look in his dark teal eyes. 

"We don't have to keep doing this, Gale." January said. "I get you don't want anything to do with me. Let's leave it alone." 

"No, I- that's not- I don't-" Gale stammered, her chest getting tight. "I didn't mean-"

She sighed, her head hanging low. 

"I'm sorry, January."

Janny's eyes flickered for a moment, whether from surprise or relief, Gale couldn't tell.

"For what?" January asked tentatively, a bit unbelieving. 

"For what I did last night." Gale's voice cracked awkwardly. "I guess for just being a bitch in general. To you, to your friends, to everyone." She got very quiet. "I don't want to keep ruining everything."

January's face softened, and she took a step closer to Gale. "You've been lonely for a pretty long time, man." He pulled out a stool and joined their cousin at the table. "But you can't just fix everything in one clean action. People that are hurt take time to heal."

Gale shrunk a little, thinking about the implications of that. Why was saying sorry so hard? How long was it going to take for people to tolerate her? Fuck, that was never going to happen. Maybe she should just leave entirely, to face her actions would be to-

Gale's thoughts were interrupted as she felt a pair of arms around her. January was hugging her. Hugging her? 

"It's okay, Gale." 

Tears, unwelcome but probably needed, welled in Gale's eyes. She awkwardly put an arm across Janny's back and patted him, unsure what to do. 

But it was okay. 

It was okay.