Male OC x Louise Belcher | A Bob's Burgers Fanfic

Bed & Breakfast

I DO NOT own Bob's Burgers. This is just for entertainment purposes

Tanner's POV: It was another day at Bob's Burgers. Mrs. Belcher was out since she had an idea that she wanted to do for the long weekend, and it was to make the apartment above a Bed & Breakfast -- where people would come in and rent out rooms and to exchange some conversations.

Linda: 😊I'm back!

Teddy: What's all this?

Bob: 😒Ugh. We're renting out rooms in our apartment for the long weekend.

Linda: We're gonna be a Bed & Breakfast! It'so exciting.

Teddy: I love Bed & Breakfast. They're so quaint.

Louise: Aren't they? Random strangers shedding skin cells all over the house.

Bob: Ugh, I'm against this Bed & Breakfast as much as you can be against something, -

Linda: 😠

Bob: -and still, let it happen.

Teddy: Like when my ex-wife wanted to have a three-way without neighbor, Ray.

Bob: Teddy, Teddy. I don't think you should be talking about -- wait, you had a three-way with Ray, the guy who wears the sales suit down on the pier?

Teddy: Yeah. I mean I wasn't involved, I just watched. But ... yeah.

Gene: I had a three-way in science class yesterday. Tammy's lab partner was absent, so she joined in with me and Joey. It was fun.

Tanner: Oh boy. (Holds hand to his head)

Bob: Okay, enough.

Linda: Oilies, salties, extra-expensive toilet paper...

Teddy: I love that soft stuff.

Bob: I thought we were doing this to make extra-money. Isn't all this eating into our profits?

Linda: Don't worry, Bob. It's gonna be money and online reviews and when I die and I go to heaven. God's gonna say "Hey, aren't you the lady who rented the B&B I heard about?

And I'm gonna say, "Yes, God. What can I get you?"

Louise: Here, hold this.

(Tina holds the end of toilet paper and Louise spins her around -- wrapping the toilet paper along with her)

Linda: (sniffs) Mmm, smell! Come on, smell it.

Bob: (Nasly) Lin, you're shoving things in my nose.

Linda:  Smell this one though.

Bob: You always do this, Lin. Whenever you entertain, you put way too much effort into it and drive yourself crazy.

Linda:  What are you talking about? I'm a wonderful hostess.

Bob: No, Linda. You go overboard and then if people aren't appreciative enough, you snap.

Linda: That's not true! (calm) I'm a gifted hostess and I'm ready to go pro.

Tina: (slightly muffled) It is really soft.

Linda: Put it back on the roll, please.

Louise: But, mom, what if we just put Tina by the toilet?

Gene: Yeah!

Tina: I don't mind!

-Later-

Linda: Almost check-in time. Tanner, make sure you finish moving your stuff and sleeping bag in our room, okay?

Tanner: Sure thing, Mrs. B!

Linda: Tina, Gene, are your rooms guest-ready?

Tina: Yeah.

Gene: Subjective.

Louise: Haha. Remember when you made fun of me for moving into a closet? Well now you suckers have to give up your room and I don't.

Linda: Whoooo-hoooo. A guest! Javi...is an entomologist.

Javed: Javed. 

Linda: What?

Javed: My name is Javed.

Linda: Alright. What kind of doctor is an entomologist again? Glands? (whisper) Butt?

Javed: (Chuckles) I'm not a butt doctor. I study insects, specifically the mating habit of my fungal beetles.

Linda: Oh. So, what brings you here?

Javed: My fungal beetles feed on fungus, and this town has a very, very high potency of fungus.

Bob: Uh, that's actually our town motto.

Gene: Fungus town!

Linda: Tina, why don't you show Javeeed...

Javed: Javed.