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While the most perfect dinner goes on, and I feel so good and happy to be with Alexei and to be safe, I can't get Emilio and Carson out of my head. It's hard when you were with someone or so long, they hurt you, and then they begin to hunt you down when you escape. It's a terrifying feeling, even with Alexei to protect me. 

Alexei told me a slight bit about his life, now that I've met some of the men and heard plenty of them talking about everything they do. 

Alexei drives us into the parking garage of the apartment building, and we head over to the elevator. 

The second the door closes and it starts to ascend, Alexei pushes me again the elevator wall and slams his lips into mine. His hands get grabby and practically hoists me onto his hips. He holds me on him by my ass, and I wrap my arms over his shoulders. 

Alexei's lips move from my lips to my collar bone, leaving very wet, heavy kisses like he did this afternoon at the pool. 

I let out a small moan, and he continues his attack down my chest. "Fuck", he groans out.

The elevator dings to notify us we've reached our floor, and instead of putting me down, he carries me out the door. 

As he walks I take my chance to start at the buttons on his shirt, and I start to leave my own heavy kisses on his neck. He squeezes my butt hard, and I can start to feel his friend fight the fabric of his pants. 

Alexei swings open the door, walks in a few steps, and kicks the door shut. As I continue to work on his neck, he sets me down on the kitchen counter. His hands find the bottom of my skirt, and he starts to trail up my legs. 

Our lips find each other once again, we go until we both need a breath. "Жизнь моя", he breathes. He stares into my eyes as if it's the last time we'll ever be here in this moment.

We start to kiss again, and when I open my eyes for a split second, and I see Carson.

"Stop", I push him away, blink, and Alexei is in front of me once again, a confused look on his face. 

I jump off the counter and run off to my room, slam the door, then the bathroom door. I collapse on the floor on the rug in front of the sink, and I break down in tears. 

I sit with my knees to my chest. Staring down at the floor, tears covering my vision, I kick my shoes off and they hit the wall opposite me. Tears stream down my face, and I bury my face into my knees and let out an almost blood curdling scream. 

 It took months to get over my nightmares of Carson beating me to a pulp, and I always thought they would never end, but they did just a couple months ago. Reading about PTSD, they said that certain things could trigger another memory, but I never thought it would happen to me. 

And what about Alexei? This man has turned into mush around me, but he probably doesn't want to deal with this. Who would wants to deal with this so early on into our... whatever this is. 

A soft echo of a knock barely shows over my sobs. "Alexei. Please."

"Жизнь моя", is all he says. 

"Leave me alone", I scream at the door, then sob into my knees again.

Alexei's POV

Her screams break me. To think that anyone could constitute this emotion of of her, or out of anyone so innocent, makes me think about what I do for a living. Think about who you are man, you're in the mafia for a reason. 

I sit against the door and listen to her screams and cries for what feels like an eternity, but they slowly become quieter and less violent. 

"Жизнь моя", I say through the door again, and I wait for her response. 

"Please", her voice pleads. "I'm sorry."

I reach up to the doorknob, but it's locked. 

Every free moment I've had the past day, since she told me about Carson, is ways I've wanted to kill him, and now Castro. Shoot him, slice him up, let him starve to death, bleed out, and many other things that that sick excuse of a man should endure before his life ends in front of me. 

I continue to sit there for awhile, staring down at my fists. But when I start to hear shuffling, I scramble to my feet and wait a few feet back. 

The door opens slowly, and for a moment, Aleksandra just stares at the floor. But when she looks up at me, there's no other thought going through my head except her perfection. 

"I'm sorry", she whispers. 

"Aleksandra", I respond, holding out my hand. Though hesitant, she puts up to her hand to meet mine. Her hands are so soft, unlike mine. 

She is the complete opposite of me in every way. Her skin is soft, her eyes are full of hope and optimism, and her smile is genuine. I don't know what it really is about her, but she is the one. I just know it. 

"Let's get you to bed."

I guide her over to her bed, and she sits. Then, I go over to her closet and find a tank top and a pair of shorts for her to sleep. I lay them on the bed next to her. 

When she doesn't move, I bend down in front of her to look at her beautiful face. "I'm going to go get you some water. I will be right back."

As I stand up, I place a kiss in her hair. 

"Wait", I hear as I start to turn and walk out of the room, and I see her stand. "Can you unzip the back?"

Aleksandra turns her back to me and moves her hair out of the way. I go back over to her, and very gently unzip it.

In the kitchen, I grab a glass from the cupboard, fill it with with ice cubes, then water, and head back into her room. 

She sits on the edge of her bed, but this time, in her sleep clothes. 

"Get into bed, Darling. You need to sleep."

Following my advice, she moves the duvet on the bed and pushes her legs under the covers. 

I bend down to place a kiss on her cheek, that she leans into, but stays quiet. 

"Good night, Жизнь моя", I whisper to her, then walk towards the door. 

"Wait", Aleksandra snaps her head up towards. "Stay."

This girl is perfection in every form, but I have to remember who I am.