Just What I Needed

June 15

Dear Nicholas,

Somehow I managed to survive end of term exams but it's not same without you. First of all, the look of pity from the teachers as I went into exam season is just pathetic. They all act concerned. Mr. Norris told me if I ever had trouble with completing his calculus work that I should just let him know and he can make accommodations. Like I've done some home-schooling and suddenly my mind has turned into mush? It's so stupid. I wish they would just treat me like a normal student. Anyway, I wrote my last one today. Thank God this was our last year. I couldn't survive one more year at that school. I can't wait to get out of this town in the fall.

Oh! And Nathan aka Thor asked me if I wanted a ride to school this morning! Like, dude, I have avoided you since you got here – what makes you think that I'm possibly going to trust you enough to get into your car?

The Ditzy Duo texted me about him. I guess they went to a baseball game last week and someone told them he was living with us. They were naturally fawning all over him, like he was Michelangelo's David in the flesh. You should have seen the texting frenzy.

"Did you see his hair 🤤...Look how tall he is...Look how fast he is at running, I bet he has a lot of stamina..." 

Puke.

He's not even that great looking. It's only because he's fresh meat and Kari has basically devoured every other guy in town. All she has left is the Summer People. It's only a matter of time before she throws herself all over him.

Dad didn't come home from work tonight. So I guess that leaves me to take care of the brute. The rules list says we have to provide a meal for them.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen him all day either. He's probably at practice or something. Maybe I could just prepare a meal and go out. At least I don't have to sit there and watch the oaf eat it.

On another note, I have been hanging out at the bowling alley with a lady named Barb. Do you remember her? How did I never notice her there before? She said she remembers you. She's the only one who looks at me like I'm not a basket case.

Anyway, I'd better get this dinner made before Thor comes back home.

Love you Nicky. Miss you like crazy.

Love your broken, scramble-brained but favourite sister,

Jordy

‿‿‿‿

My counsellor said it was good to journal out my feelings but it always felt super weird to just write how I was feeling to no one in particular. Instead, when I need to vent, I often found myself writing to Nicholas. I don't know what happens in the afterlife but hopefully he's listening.

After stashing away my journal, I headed to the kitchen to make chicken fettucine alfredo for myself and measured out a double serving for Nate, since we are supposed to provide meals for them and God only knows my dad isn't doing it. I make the same approximate portion Nicky would have eaten.

This isn't meant to be a regular thing but he did offer me a drive this morning and Barb told me to try and be nice so... I guess this is a gesture in the right direction.

His schedule said he had a game at 1 pm so he should be home soon.

Not that I'm keeping track of his game schedule.

There was still no sign of dad or Nate when I finished eating so I cleaned up, put the uneaten portion into the fridge and headed to the bowling alley. My hobble was decidedly better each day that I walked. I barely noticed it anymore and I was picking up speed in my stride. It used to take me 30 minutes to walk to the bowling alley and now I could make it in twenty without getting winded.