Just What I Needed

July 3 (Morning)

I woke to the smell of bacon wafting down the hall from the kitchen.

Throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I walked into the bathroom and splashed water on my face. My eyes were puffy from crying last night. I hadn't expected to be so emotional but it also felt good to start feeling things other than anger again, even if it was jealousy.

Whatever I had buried inside after Nicky and my mom died, was being released in anger, in tears, in good old-fashioned teenage girl drama.

I entered the kitchen to see Nate, cooking up something delicious smelling on the stove. Despite the rules on the billet sheet about us providing a meal for our house guest, Nate had taken care of preparing pretty much all of his own meals. This morning, he was making fried eggs and bacon on a griddle.

My dad was in his usual spot, reading the newspaper but his typical bowl of cereal was missing.

"Good morning," Nate acknowledged my presence without looking up.

"What are you doing?"

"How do you like your eggs?" He looked up and smiled.

I just stared back at him.

"Scrambled, it is," he responded. "Can you get the orange juice out of the fridge?"

"What is this?" I asked, retrieving the orange juice.

"A thank you for your hospitality."

I put the orange juice on the table and then went and sat at the breakfast bar. It felt awkward to sit at the table with my dad. We hadn't had a normal conversation in over two months and I wasn't about to start playing happy family with him this morning.

I watched Nate moving about the kitchen, like he had lived here all his life. He looked more at home in my house than I did. I watched as he opened the cupboards and pulled out three plates. He didn't even have to reach. They were level with his shoulder. He could see into the cupboards at heights that I would have to grab a stool to stand on to see.

He plated two fried eggs and some bacon, along with toast and home fries and brought them over to my dad.

"Thanks," my dad replied. He cleared his throat. "How is your season going?"

"It's going well, sir," Nate replied. "We've won all of our games but two."

"Good, good," my dad cut up his eggs. "And you're finding your way around town alright?"

Look who's playing the concerned parent all of a sudden. How come he never asked me if I was getting around town alright? I was being assaulted on our own back porch and he never even noticed. Never bothered to check in to see how I was doing.

Nate brought over a plated breakfast for me.

"How is your side? From where you got hit?" I asked.

"I'm fine. You looked pretty worried about me. I missed you at the end of the game last night," he said quietly, lowering his eyes to meet mine then continued in a louder voice. "Kari invited me to a fourth of July party tomorrow night on the beach. Are you going?"

"No, she isn't," my dad piped up from the table. He had already finished his breakfast. "Unofficial parties on the beach have been known to get out of hand. Someone almost drowned last year. I can't keep you from going son, but I'll suggest that you stay away from there."

"Are you kidding me?" I dropped my fork onto my plate.

My dad and Nate both turned to look at me.

"Do you even have any idea what I have been doing all summer? I could have been getting drunk on the beach, taking drugs, hanging out with a whole new set of friends all summer and you would have had no idea. You've been holed up in the God damned study all summer playing poker. You have no idea what I have been up to. And now all of a sudden you're going to say I can't go to a party on the beach?!" I didn't mean for all of that to spill out but there it was.

My dad never had a problem letting Nicky and I go to the beach parties before. The fact that someone almost drown last year had nothing to do with the townies' parties, it was some rich frat kid in for the summer who threw his own party. Nicky and I stayed away from the Summer People parties.

I stared right at my dad. I wasn't about to back down. Bring it on big guy.

My dad put his plate in the dishwasher and walked out of the kitchen. "I'm going for a bike ride."

I sat there dumbfounded. I just exploded and instead of having a conversation, my dad just opted out.

"I don't even know why he cares whether I go to the party or not," I said to Nate, who was still standing in the kitchen. His own breakfast was getting cold on the plate but he daren't move while I was yelling like an idiot at my dad.

"...so are you going to go?"

"God no," I replied.

"Aside from your dad saying no, why not?"

"Why not? Have you not seen me interact with people around here? I've been hiding out all summer in a bowling alley. I'm barely able to socialize with my own friends. I doubt hanging out at a beach party would be good for me," I replied. "The last time I went to a party, I got assaulted."

"I would be there, and I wouldn't let that guy get within five feet of you. Besides, you're not a social pariah. I don't think you give yourself enough credit."

I rolled my eyes.

"Jordan, I just..." Nate raised his hands like he was offering me an invisible platter. "I just wish you could see what everyone else sees. The girls around town – they look up to you, especially Holly."

"What do you know about the girls around town, huh?" I jumped down from the breakfast bar stool. "Is that where you get all your information. Getting cozy with Kari after the games? Why do you even care if I go to the party? You have your teammates and Kari. She invited you, didn't she? Go hang out with her and enjoy your night if you're so keen on going to this party. But don't expect me to cover your ass if my dad asks where you've gone and you're out past your curfew."

"Jordan," Nate tried to reply but I was already storming out of the kitchen and into my room. I waited until I heard him clean up and leave the house before I emerged again.

So much for thanking us for our hospitality. Another situation I've managed to ruin.

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