Cry Me A River

Introducing....me.

HEY GUYS! This story is going through some serious revisions so forgive me for any mistakes :) I love you all very much❤️

edit: nov. 2019
this is crazy. i wrote this at the beginning of high school and it's become so much more popular than i ever imagined. it's definitely not well written, it's cliche, there's a weird missing chapter in the middle, and i can't promise it isn't cringe-worthy. but it's mine. it's old and i haven't ever truly read through it. but thank you so much to everyone who's decided that they wanted to come along for the ride. this reminded me how much i love writing.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

It was simple really. We couldn't be together and no, this wasn't some Romeo Juliet secret. This shit was real life.

He never noticed me. Cliché right? I was the one who didn't have that many friends...kind of. When we first met, he was dating my best friend (if you even call sixth grade dating a thing) and I just thought he was kinda cute That's it. But, as time passed, I started noticing the little things about him; like the way he scrunched up his nose when he was thinking really hard, or when he got a bad grade, he closed his eyes for a split second. Those tiny things made me realize how much I liked him.

"You're so stupid Char."

"You're stupid Jane." I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"You guys both sound like five year olds." Maria slid into the space next to me, shoving me to the side. "Charlie, your butt's too big for the seat." I rolled my eyes before repositioning myself on the end of the bench.

"You're the one who decided to shove your cheeks where my cheeks were originally." I grumbled, knowing she could hear me. Janie laughed at the two of us as she stretched her legs out on the grass. Before any of us could say a word, another body decided to slip next to mine, and I was finally shoved off the bench completely, landing with an "umph" on the ground. Looking up, I saw the culprit and swallowed, annoyed that he had to show up when I was having such a nice day.

"What's wrong with you dickwad?" He chuckled at the nickname I had given him, but Maria glared.

"Charlie, stop." Will gave her his dimpled grin.

"Don't worry Mar, she's just playing." I gave him a fake smile before taking a deep breath. Janie gave me a sympathetic glance, knowing that I didn't like Maria's boyfriend. We had a pretty bad history, and then he had to follow me around like a toe fungus and start dating my friend. So not cool on his part.

The couple got up from the table and made their way around the campus, holding hands and talking. Well, it started out as talking.... until he had her pinned up to a wall and was doing things that were definitely not rated PG. I turned to Janie, feeling vomit come up into my throat.

"Annnnnnd that's my cue to look away." She nodded, before asking,

"So, how's everything?" I knew what she was hinting at, but pretended not to understand.

"Everything's fine. Grades are good and things at home are normal. Everything's a party actually. Care to join in? " She gave me a hard stare as I started to half-heartedly 'raise the roof'. 

"Charlotte, you know what I mean."

"Nope, not a clue."

"Want me to remind you? His name is-" I slapped my hand over her mouth, preventing from his name being spoken.

"Shut up Jane." She laughed.

"I knew you knew what I was talking about." Glaring in her direction, I took my time answering her.

"Everything is fine." With that, I popped in my blue ear buds and effectively tuned her out.

See, what Janie wanted to talk about was a secret so deep, so dark, just so awful, that I didn't want it discussed on school grounds. It was so heart wrenching and terrifying that even the thought of it made me sick to my stomach and no. I was not in love with Will.

I was in love with his best friend.

And it solidly sucked ass.
••••••••
You know how sometimes a really sad song from your playlist comes on when you're in the car and you look out the window and pretend you're in a music video? So I had never heard or tried it before, but I was looking on teenagerposts and saw it, so I obviously decided to try it. It was going great; the song Arms of the Angel playing by Sarah Mclaughin, a little drizzle coming down on the bus window. However, after I had taken a moment of closing my eyes, imaging Channing Tatum holding me in his arms and singing to me, I opened them to the most hideous sight in the entire world- Will's nose pressed up against the glass, his eyes bulging. When I had practically jumped from my seat he doubled over laughing, acting like a freakin kindergartener. Dude come one, we're sixteen for godsakes. Let's be mature adults.

But who listens to that voice inside their heads? If we did then the world would be completely boring.

So, instead of just taking the high road, I stormed out of the bus (which wasn't moving. God guys, I'm not a total idiot) and kneed him in his manly hood. He doubled over in pain, not even having the strength to give me a glare. I smiled proudly and turned around, not even bothering to check to see if he was okay.

Sliding back into the seat on the bus, I sighed and leaned my head against the cool window again.

"Hey, can I sit here?" I jumped, not realizing there was someone waiting for me to answer.

"Uh, sure." He gave me a smile and slid into the open space, making me feel crammed. Not the bad crammed, the good kind where you feel butterflies in your stomach because the person you've been secretly in love with for five years is sitting next to you.

"How was your day" I shrugged, debating whether or not on answering him.

"Fine, how about you?" Logan laughed, shoving his backpack under his feet.

"Lottie, you're such a liar. I can tell when you've been having a bad day." My heart started racing. It wasn't that I had a bad day; it just killed me to look at him and to know that I would never get to be with him. Essentially, he was the one making my day bad. Everything was his fault. But I couldn't say that to him.

"Nothing seriously! How are you?" He shrugged.

"Fine, don't tell me. But until you do I'm not talking to you." He turned his head the other way. Exasperated, I said

"Come on, we aren't little kids." No answer. "Logan seriousllyyyyy." Still no answer. "I swear to the lord up above dude." Silence. Finally, coming to my wits end, I poked him in the cheek; however, I didn't seem to pull away fast enough. His teeth caught onto my flesh and it hurt like a bitch.  "LOGAAAAAAAAAAAN! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FU-"

"BAD WORDS! I DISLIKE BAD WORDS!" He slapped his hand over my mouth. I licked his palm and he pulled away, cursing under his breath. If you think that was my idea revenge, you are seriously mistaken. I started rubbing my tongue on his shirt, but he was too preoccupied with wiping his hands on his jeans to notice.

"Logan why the hell did you put hand sanitizer on? It tastes freakin awful!" He chuckled.

"Because this is the third day in a row that you've licked me." I huffed quietly and swallowed, trying to get the flavor out of my mouth.

"I hate you." He put his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. My heart started beating erratically- stupid muscle.

"No you don't Lottie, you love me." That immature, annoyingly right voice in my head whispered No shit Sherlock.

"In your dreams Logan. In your dreams."

____