Cry Me A River

Memorizing You

I'm writing a new story- Call Me Kate which I'm super psyched about!!!!!!!! This one should be coming to a close soon (not yet but soon) and so I've started getting ready for the new book so by the time Cry Me A River wrapped up I could start updating right away.

Message me, comment and vote...or don't.
•••••••••••
I made Ryan promise not to tell anyone else until I the morning. He was reluctant but finally agreed, knowing I had a plan in mind.
It was five forty-five am when the doctors came in to check on my mom, so I told them I'd be back and slipped out of the room, grabbing Jesse's car keys.

The clock had just flickered to seven when I got to the beach house and Ryan answered the door almost as soon as I lightly knocked.
"Charlie you look like crap." I nodded and walked inside, grabbing a banana from the table and starting to eat it.

"I know." He gave me a hard stare.

"How long does she have left?" I knew who he was talking about and yes, I knew Ryan was only fourteen, but he deserved the truth.

"They said two days at the most." He blinked a couple of times, trying to grasp the situation.

"Can I go and see her?"

"Yeah. I'm taking you, Jase and Cam there as soon as you go and get changed." He darted up the stairs and I followed, heading to my room. Opening the door, I saw Sophia sound asleep in my bed, and Jason passed out on his. Cam was waking up, so I went to
him first. He gave me a smile as I lifted him out of the crib and I kissed his forehead before walking over to Jason.

"Jase," I whispered, tapping him lightly, "time to get up." His eyes slowly opened and when he saw me he sat up quickly.

"Where were you?" I motioned for him to get ready.

"Get dressed and I'll tell you in the car."
------
The days that passed were ones of sorrow, despair and emptiness. As the doctors had predicted, her health suddenly went on a steep decline and with every hour her condition worsened.
It was a week and a half after I had found her in the diner. The sun was peeking through the grey clouds, the smell of rain thick enough to be cut with a knife. The boys and I were visiting her, along with Sophia who Ryan had been insisting on bringing. I was bobbing Cam on my hip, his head nuzzled into my shoulder. Jason was sitting on the foot of my mom's bed, holding her hand and Sophia and Ryan were by her side, talking with her quietly. She glanced up at me and I saw a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there before the hospital.

"Honey, we need to all talk okay? As a family." My mom added on as a second thought, "Sophia, keep your butt on the seat. You're a family member." She blushed and sat down again slowly, letting Ryan hold her hand once more. I raised my eyebrow.

"What is it mom?" She sat back against her pillows and gave me a serious expression.

"I have some rules." I knew where she was going with the idea and I didn't like it.

"Mom, I don't want to tal-"

"I know you don't want to talk about it but it's necessary!" She snapped, giving me a glare.

"No it's not!" Ignoring me, she turned to my two brothers.

"I know I haven't been a good mom, and I'm so sorry. I let all of my problems come before yours, which isn't how a mother is supposed to act, but I did. And because I didn't spend enough time with you, I have to make up for it within these last few days." She squeezed Jason's hand. "Jason, I want you to be a nice boy and a good brother okay? Respect and listen to Charlie. She's a very smart girl and will be a wonderful mother one day." Jason had tears in his eyes and buried his head in my mother's arm. She glanced at Ryan who gave her a glare.

"Mom, we aren't doing this right now." Acting as though she didn't hear him she said,

"Ryan, study hard, because that's the only way to make it in this world. Focus on school and not on parties, drinking or drugs. God knows that got me into the most trouble. You're a bright young man, but if Charlie has advice, listen. She may know a thing or two." He nodded, tears filking up his eyes but never spilling over. I saw him grip Sophia's hand a little harder, his knuckles turning white.
My mom turned to her next.

"Sophia." The young teenager looked surprised.

"Me?" My mom smiled kindly at her.

"Yes you. Our home is always open for you, and these kids all have more than enough love to give. You're such a smart, funny, gorgeous girl." Sophia gave my mom a sad smile and whispered,

"And you're a strong woman." My mother's eyes opened in astonishment before tearing up too. Reaching out, she grabbed Sophia's other hand and said,

"God bless you." Finally she turned to me and Cam, motioning me to come closer.

"Charlotte," She put her hand up to my face and I leaned into the familiar warmth.

"Yes mom?" She stared deep into my eyes.

"I am so sorry." It was as if those words seemed to patch up every scar, every piece of hurt she caused me.

"It's okay ma." My voice broke at the end and my mother shook her head, a sad smile gracing her hollowed features.

"It was never okay and I know it will never be. But you've been the most confident, wonderful, kind," she paused and wiped a tear that had broken free from my eye, "daughter that any mother could ask for. I must have done something right to receive a
blessing like you from God." I felt the droplets tracking down my face.

"You can't leave me mom, you can't. I- I just got you back! There's so many things we have to do like go get a manicure, tan at the beach, gush over hot guys and-" she put her finger over my lips and smoothed my hair down.

"Honey, life is like throwing a dice. You have no idea what will happen. I think I'm going to have to take a raincheck for those things." I shook my head and held Cam close to me.

"Mom, I'm not letting you go." She nodded, tears flowing down her face like a river. Everyone was silent in the room as I looked at her.

"I know you don't want to honey, but I'm slipping." Her words were barely a whisper, yet it felt as though she was screaming. I held her warm hand, trying to memorize the way it felt in mine.

"Are you trying to hold on?" I shook my head, biting my lip.

"Nah," my voice broke, teardrops interfering with my vision, "I'm memorizing you mommy."

That night, at 10:34 pm, my mom stopped breathing.

This chapter made me emotional...I don't know why.