My Dominant, My Savior (BDSM) Book 2

Chapter 13

It's been weeks since our last session and my identity was revealed. Maybe all of this will overwhelm her, or maybe even make her quit. But all I have is an hour of her time before going through the rest of the day pretending like nothing has happened.

Should I tell my coworkers my true identity as well?

No, that wouldn't be smart. One of them could be in contact with Kyle, I also don't need any more attention drawn towards me.

"Hello, Nova. It feels like years since I've last spoken to you."

"I agree, I'm sorry if my absence has been so noticeable. A lot has happened in my life since our last conversation."

"I accept your apology, though it's not necessary. You can start at any time, my schedule is fully open."

Taking a deep sigh, I guess this is it.

"My name isn't Nova Faye, it's Olivia Taylor."

"Well, I'm happy to meet you, Olivia. What made you want to tell me your true identity?"

"I-I, just felt like I needed to get that off my chest. Therapy is about honesty, right?"

"Yes, please continue"

"I've been hiding my identity for so long, I started to feel like I was losing myself again."

"You've gone through this before? How did it make you feel?"

"Hallow. Like I was only a shell of myself. I've been in survival mode for so many years and I want to live this time as me. Not as Nova Faye, or anyone else. It just seems to be too hard to accomplish."

"Have you felt free during the duration of your facade? Done things you've wanted or yearned for?"

"I have, I'm just not proud of all the decisions I've made. It's led to a lot of issues blossoming into my life so suddenly. I just want to be like everyone else. Live to make mistakes, fall in love, go out in public with friends, and not be afraid, have a family, be happy..."

"Can you tell me what may be stopping you from achieving that?"

"My life hasn't been simple. If I were to tell you everything in detail you may commit me or have me evaluated."

"I don't desire to do anything,
but help you. As long as you haven't committed a crime, there's no reason for me to do anything but listen to you, allow you to vent, and gain clarity."

I have the floor to be vulnerable to her, the struggle of wanting to finally let it all out to a professional, instead of holding it all in and letting my trauma and past consume me.

What's the worst that could happen? He's already found a way back into my life, it's already as dangerous as it could be for me.

"If you insist. I'm just not sure where to start, There's just so much that has happened to me and I allowed it."

"Did you allow it, or were you doing whatever you had to, to survive?"

"A bit of both, I guess. Some things are a blur, while others are crystal clear, like it just happened yesterday. At times I feel like it's over for good and that I moved past it, then the next, I'm getting flashbacks and triggered all over again. I can't really find comfort or peace because, for most of my life, I didn't feel like I deserved either of them."

"Is there anything you do to ground yourself when this happens? Breathing exercises? Meditation? Counting backward from a certain number?"

"No... I honestly never thought of doing any of those things to help ground me. Truthfully, I never thought any of those things worked, at least not for me. Even in my dreams or the corners of my mind, I cannot escape the horrors I've witnessed or been through. But we only have so much time to talk since work is about to start soon, so I don't want to drag this on longer than it has to be."